Beyond stressed

There is a place beyond “stressed out” where I resided last night and early this morning. It is like the eye of a hurricane where everything feels heightened, different, but the whirlwind is about to descend. Beyond stressed out I am not exactly calm, but I have no time to do anything but be focused. Unless I am also tired, then about all I can do is sleep or cry.

This week accumulated deadlines and Events Which I Must Manage. At least one per day all week with some days doubling or tripling up. Contemplating this week exhausts me. Today was enormously simplified when NotMyBaby’s mom called me and told me he was sick and she’d be staying home with him. I don’t want NMB to be sick, but I’m so glad he won’t be here during my hosting of Gleek’s preschool this morning. 6 preschoolers I can manage, add a baby into the deal and suddenly I’m having to manage 6 preschoolers one handed and with only half my attention. I knew I’d have to do it when I agreed to watch NMB, but I was anticipating today with dread. I’ll still have to do it on Friday, but right now Friday is an endless list of Things To Do away and I can safely pretend it isn’t there. Lalalalalala I can’t hear you Friday!

Today: Preschool
Tomorrow: NMB, craft & luncheon at the church building. (I’m in charge), cub scouts, activity day for Kiki
Thursday: NMB, Evening at the temple with relatives (Agh I’ve got to find babysitting!)
Friday: NMB, Preschool again (1 handed with half attention Lalalala! Can’t hear it!) imediately followed by having people over for lunch.
Saturday: Hide in bed while the kids wreak havoc in the house.

And of course each of those days will also include meal preparation, Homework Time, sending kids to school, retrieving kids from school and random sprinklings of tantrum or emotional drama.

Edit: Nov 17, 2005 After I wrote this entry things were added to the schedule. NMB’s mom called and asked if he could stay 3 hours longer on Thursday. I said yes because I was so grateful for his absense on Tuesday. Kiki came home with an invitation to Harry Potter for Saturday morning. More babysitting had to be arranged for that. Sunday acquired a Relief Society meeting and an evening Devotional in addition to Church. Even more babysitting. So the collapse on Saturday can only be a partial one. Whee.