4 days to Christmas and I’m feeling pretty blah about the whole holiday thing. I didn’t do any shopping this year. Or rather I did it all last spring & summer when no one else was even thinking about Christmas yet. And even if they were thinking about Christmas, I don’t think that garage sales are really big on the holiday decorating thing. Christmas is supposed to be about gift giving in honor of the greatest of all gifts, but somehow it ended up being all about shopping. Since I’ve skipped out on shopping I’ve somehow also missed out on the anticipatory frenzy that enlivens this time of year.
Anticipation seems to be part of the glow of this season. As the mom I’m usually in on all the secrets. I helped wrap all those gifts under the tree, so I know what is in them all. It is entirely possible to have great anticipation about giving a gift you know will delight. I felt that way about the yummy expensive cheese that a schlocker conspired with me to get for Howard. But I was so excited about it that I gave it to him early. I claimed this was because I wanted it to stay fresh, but mostly it was because I knew he’d love it and I couldn’t wait to give it to him. In retrospect that may not have been wise because now I have nothing that I really look forward to giving. I guess I’ve been thinking about Christmas for so long that everything I’ve squirrelled way seems old and tired to me.
Hopefully this will turn around before Sunday. I actually rather expect it to, but this is in my head today.