I’m sitting here typing on my laptop while my ten year old son is crying over his homework. This is not the sort of moment that gets immortalized in photos or regaled over Thanksgiving dinner. It is not a moment that makes me feel like a good mother, but it is exactly this sort of moment where I am one. My son is crying because the work he is doing is work that ought to have been done yesterday. Not only did he not do it yesterday, he implied to me that it was done. He didn’t outright lie, but through some verbal mumbling he managed to slide by without doing it. Then at school today he was not prepared and that was unpleasant. Then his teacher communicated with me and I had a talk with him about responsibility and paying attention in class. We talked about how all humans, me included, have a tendency to procrastinate and avoid work. We talked about how we have to curb that impulse in ourselves and learn to do the work anyway. We talked about carrots, sticks, and motivational plans. We decided on a point system and a reward structure. Then I declared that if any work is overdue, he is not allowed to play on a computer or video game until it is done. This last part was not news he wanted to hear. So now he is working and sniffling. I am watching, typing, and hoping that inside his head he is taking responsibility for his choices instead of ranting about how mean I am.
2 thoughts on “Homework Consequences”
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**he is taking responsibility for his choices instead of ranting about how mean I am.**
My heart goes out to you on this one. *hugs* With my own child, I have a very difficult time with this because in all but a very few instances, children do not make the choice to go to school. School is required by parents and by law. I very much want my child to make decisions and then be accountable for those decisions so she can learn the skills to become a successful adult. But unlike the adult (or teen) who applies for a particular job and then must do the work that job entails or accept the consequences, school children have have had their “job” assigned.
How would I feel if I was required by law to work a job not of my choosing? While I might be assigned a job that I liked and excelled at, I know I’d be terribly unhappy if I was forced to work in a factory assembly line, on a road construction crew, or one of dozens of jobs I can think of. If the safety and health of my family required me to perform well at my assigned job, I probably would. Otherwise, I suspect I’d shirk as much as I could.
That being said, how can I fault my child for being reluctant to complete homework assignments for classes she didn’t choose? Even in the case of junior and senior high school, the choices are limited and selections from each category is required. Why then, are adults surprised when so many children drop out of college or lose their first job when it is one of the first times children have the choice not to go?
Boy, that was a ramble! *lol* Anyway, I totally understand how difficult it is for us, as parents, to teach responsibility for homework when we must start from such a shaky base. Here’s hoping your son absorbs the best of your lessons! 🙂
Sorry, my kids have already crowned me “Meanest Mom in the World”. You will have to settle for second. 🙂