Today was a day for varied small realizations:
I’ve been attributing the personal renaissance that I’ve experienced during the last two years to beginning this livejournal. The livejournal has definitely played a role, but it suddenly seems blindingly obvious that having Howard at home plays a much bigger part. Howard finally has time and brainspace to relax into the role of “daddy” and I finally have time and brainspace to be something besides “mommy.” It makes me so glad.
My gladness leads directly to my next realization. Howard and I and our whole family are incredibly blessed. We’re getting to live a dream that remains out of reach for so many people. When life and God give me so much, I need to be doing more to give back. I need to be doing more to make sure that this world is a better place for my having passed through.
The “life as a road” metphor leads me to my third stop on this train of thought. I’ve been reading Life is a Road the Soul is a Motorcycle by Daniel Meyer. I’m not a motorcycle rider, I’ve never even been on one. Prior to reading this book my thoughts on motorcycles were pretty much confined to the average life expectancy of a teen on a rocket bike or pondering the seeming stupidity of riding at 60 mph on a freeway while wearing shorts and no helmet. Meyer has given me a whole different view. I can now see that for him riding a bike connects him with the universe and with himself. I find that same connection while gardening or hiking or writing. That drive to live rather than just exist is powerful and Meyer expresses it well if differently than I do. The book is well written and entertaining, probably even more so to someone who already is a rider. Check it out on his website: http://www.lifeisaroad.com/
These realizations are brought to you courtesy of us having lots of family in town. I don’t know what it is about family, but conversations with them are so comfortable that they shake loose tightly held preconceptions. Also there is something delightful about having a dozen kids running around playing when they all share resemblances. Cousins are a wonderful thing. I’m glad my kids have lots of them. At one point the daughter of Howard’s brother climbed into my lap and started a conversation with me. I looked down into her big blue eyes and realized that although have zero blood relation to this child, she is MY neice. Considering that I have 6 siblings and Howard has 3 and all of us are Mormon and therefore believers in large families, I should have known that becoming an aunt was inevitable. In fact, I’ve been an aunt for longer than I’ve been a mother. Strange that aunthood didn’t feel real until today with that small little person who plonked into my lap without warning. She and I hadn’t really exchanged any words before, but there she was smiling and talking and snuggling, trusting me to be kind and good. I have the chance to be an aunt, to be a good influence in her life. The relationship I build with her matters because although she is barely 4, she is already forming ideas about how extended family works. I want her to know that no matter what happens she has a larger saftey net she can fall back on. I’ve always known that my uncles and aunts would jump to help me if I ever needed it. Now it is my turn to be the safety net for the next generation. How strange and unexpected this “growing up” thing turns out to be.
I have been in less accidents while riding the motorcycle then while in cars.
Part of it is, at least for me, a complete paranoid situational awareness. I don’t answer the phone, no radio, and I never even begin to catch myself starting to zone out. It’s alot different in a car, however. I’m frequently fiddling with something, don’t always look as well as I should when merging, etc, etc.
Then again, I’m not one of those riders who rides at a hundred ten miles an hour in surface streets, wearing an open helmet, shorts and a t-shirt.
I have been in less accidents while riding the motorcycle then while in cars.
Part of it is, at least for me, a complete paranoid situational awareness. I don’t answer the phone, no radio, and I never even begin to catch myself starting to zone out. It’s alot different in a car, however. I’m frequently fiddling with something, don’t always look as well as I should when merging, etc, etc.
Then again, I’m not one of those riders who rides at a hundred ten miles an hour in surface streets, wearing an open helmet, shorts and a t-shirt.
Riding a motorcycle can indeed do that. There’s a definite zen involved. Riding downt he freeway at 60mph in shorts and a T-shirt is still stupid¹, though, no “seeming” about it. 🙂 At that speed, even a relatively minor get-off without protective gear can just about skin you alive.
[1] And that’s even if you’re NOT doing stupid stunts like pulling power wheelies in traffic.
Riding a motorcycle can indeed do that. There’s a definite zen involved. Riding downt he freeway at 60mph in shorts and a T-shirt is still stupid¹, though, no “seeming” about it. 🙂 At that speed, even a relatively minor get-off without protective gear can just about skin you alive.
[1] And that’s even if you’re NOT doing stupid stunts like pulling power wheelies in traffic.
My dad has always driven a motorcycle, and for years he would always mutter under his breath about the stupid hooligans white-lining, or the irresponsible kids not wearing a helmet, or the aggressive ones that get themselves into a fatal accident. A few years ago when he retired he finally did something about it: he became a motorcycle instructor. He now teaches beginners how to drive motorcycles, and how to do so safely. It’s a really nice thing for him to do, and he loves it.
My dad has always driven a motorcycle, and for years he would always mutter under his breath about the stupid hooligans white-lining, or the irresponsible kids not wearing a helmet, or the aggressive ones that get themselves into a fatal accident. A few years ago when he retired he finally did something about it: he became a motorcycle instructor. He now teaches beginners how to drive motorcycles, and how to do so safely. It’s a really nice thing for him to do, and he loves it.
Extended family is the reason we (wife, daughter and I) quit our jobs and moved cross country last year (Florida hurricanes had nothing to do with it-wink,wink). I grew up in Florida, away from our extended family in New Mexico (30 odd first cousins!) and only getting to visit some summers. In Florida, with it’s constantly changing transient suburbs, life is pretty isolated. I did not want my daughter growing up like that. Now, my daughter has 4 cousins (second cousins but everyone’s a cousin) who were born within 4 weeks of herself. One of her cousins is in her pre-school and they’ll be together at kindergarten next year too. Daughter has never been happier. She’s a single child and, since she’s a late life child for wife, Miriam’s not likely to have any brothers or sisters. Having several cousins, aunts and uncles, within 5 minutes walk is too nice.
Extended family is the reason we (wife, daughter and I) quit our jobs and moved cross country last year (Florida hurricanes had nothing to do with it-wink,wink). I grew up in Florida, away from our extended family in New Mexico (30 odd first cousins!) and only getting to visit some summers. In Florida, with it’s constantly changing transient suburbs, life is pretty isolated. I did not want my daughter growing up like that. Now, my daughter has 4 cousins (second cousins but everyone’s a cousin) who were born within 4 weeks of herself. One of her cousins is in her pre-school and they’ll be together at kindergarten next year too. Daughter has never been happier. She’s a single child and, since she’s a late life child for wife, Miriam’s not likely to have any brothers or sisters. Having several cousins, aunts and uncles, within 5 minutes walk is too nice.
Hrm, I misread Riding down the freeway at 60mph in shorts and a T-shirt is still stupid as Riding down the freeway at 60mph in shorts and T-shirt is still called stupid. And therefore was going to reply with, “I thought we called that squid. Or at least that’s what the girls shout out when they see the T-shirts flapping.”
Hrm, I misread Riding down the freeway at 60mph in shorts and a T-shirt is still stupid as Riding down the freeway at 60mph in shorts and T-shirt is still called stupid. And therefore was going to reply with, “I thought we called that squid. Or at least that’s what the girls shout out when they see the T-shirts flapping.”
Okay, having a lot of cousins and family around… I’m jealous. Considering that I’m the oldest cousin and my youngest cousin is one year older than my son… obviously I didn’t get to know my cousins. I don’t think I can even name them all.
Now, my kids are one of three oldest cousins (at 8 and 4), my brother now has two kids ages 6 and new baby, and my youngest brother has almost a one year old baby. So at least my kids have one cousin to play with, and then there will be a couple of babies grow up togetherish… they live far away from each other.
On my husband’s side, we have the ONLY grandchildren and I don’t see Ross’ brother or sister having kids any time soon…
I always have dreamed of having close family relationships, but, since we all live far apart, I have made a goal to be the best sister and Aunt that I can. I want my nieces to know that I am here for them…
I love being an Aunt! I just wish everyone were closer so I could Aunt more.
Okay, having a lot of cousins and family around… I’m jealous. Considering that I’m the oldest cousin and my youngest cousin is one year older than my son… obviously I didn’t get to know my cousins. I don’t think I can even name them all.
Now, my kids are one of three oldest cousins (at 8 and 4), my brother now has two kids ages 6 and new baby, and my youngest brother has almost a one year old baby. So at least my kids have one cousin to play with, and then there will be a couple of babies grow up togetherish… they live far away from each other.
On my husband’s side, we have the ONLY grandchildren and I don’t see Ross’ brother or sister having kids any time soon…
I always have dreamed of having close family relationships, but, since we all live far apart, I have made a goal to be the best sister and Aunt that I can. I want my nieces to know that I am here for them…
I love being an Aunt! I just wish everyone were closer so I could Aunt more.
I found your last paragraph there very profound. Possibly because I had some similar (although not as well-articulated) realizations this weekend.
My wife and I were at her parents’ this weekend for my brother-in-law’s Eagle Scout ceremony and grad party. For most of the weekend, we had my wife’s sister’s little boy (3 years old) around, and that is a kid who will very likely need a safety net.
Fortunately, my in-laws are very much there for him, but we were kind of wondering how he’d be around me. He only started warming up to me during the time right before our wedding five months ago, and we hadn’t seen him since then, so we didn’t know if he’d really remember me or not. But my wife and I were running some errands and we took him along. He zonked out in the car, so he was very sleepy when we took him into the credit union (had to change my wife’s name and get me onto the account). My wife was carrying him, but she handed him to me so she could sign some paperwork. I handed him back so I could do the same, but then a bit later, after we’d gone into a different room to talk to somebody else, he kind of woke up a bit more, looked at me, and pretty much just fell into my lap and conked out again. I think it was at that point that I kind of realized that he wasn’t just my wife’s nephew, but he was my nephew too.
I’m still very much in the middle of coming to grips with the fact that I’m not the youngest generation in my family any more (as well as the fact that my family is a lot bigger now, since it includes my wife’s relatives too). My older brother and his wife have a little girl, and another on the way, but since we live in New York and they live in Seattle, I haven’t seen much of them, so it hasn’t really sunk in from that direction. But getting married provided me instantly with a number of nieces and nephews, as well as a couple more siblings (including another younger brother, which is very cool).
I found your last paragraph there very profound. Possibly because I had some similar (although not as well-articulated) realizations this weekend.
My wife and I were at her parents’ this weekend for my brother-in-law’s Eagle Scout ceremony and grad party. For most of the weekend, we had my wife’s sister’s little boy (3 years old) around, and that is a kid who will very likely need a safety net.
Fortunately, my in-laws are very much there for him, but we were kind of wondering how he’d be around me. He only started warming up to me during the time right before our wedding five months ago, and we hadn’t seen him since then, so we didn’t know if he’d really remember me or not. But my wife and I were running some errands and we took him along. He zonked out in the car, so he was very sleepy when we took him into the credit union (had to change my wife’s name and get me onto the account). My wife was carrying him, but she handed him to me so she could sign some paperwork. I handed him back so I could do the same, but then a bit later, after we’d gone into a different room to talk to somebody else, he kind of woke up a bit more, looked at me, and pretty much just fell into my lap and conked out again. I think it was at that point that I kind of realized that he wasn’t just my wife’s nephew, but he was my nephew too.
I’m still very much in the middle of coming to grips with the fact that I’m not the youngest generation in my family any more (as well as the fact that my family is a lot bigger now, since it includes my wife’s relatives too). My older brother and his wife have a little girl, and another on the way, but since we live in New York and they live in Seattle, I haven’t seen much of them, so it hasn’t really sunk in from that direction. But getting married provided me instantly with a number of nieces and nephews, as well as a couple more siblings (including another younger brother, which is very cool).
Hi, Sandra. I was reading Schlock M, and saw your link so came over and read down to see how you survived the Tayler family reunion-a-thon. If you are the person you show yourself to be in your journal, then yeah for you. I can’t imagine that you would tell all the “clean the kitchen” and “hiding on the front porch” stories if you were trying to sugar coat yourself. Anyway, I could really relate in regards to getting to know Bill and Sarah’s kids, for example. They are such a treat for us and yet they can be naughty. Did Bill or Sarah tell you what Juliet did while she was here? We built a little temporary sand box because they just LOVE sand, but Jet was looking for cool ingredients to add to her “cooking”. I saw her look a little sideways at me, but I didn’t take the clue and a few minutes later there she was in the sand box with about 2 dozen of our green peaches, plucked from our 3 year old tree. When I asked her about it she said that there were still some left for me. Yikes. Later I was looking for the print-out of a talk by Pres. Benson and couldn’t find a couple of the pages I needed to prepare my Sacrament meeting talk. Outside, I not only found the pages with Juliet’s drawings on the back of each, but I also found our “antique” issues of the Era, one for the year Dennis was born and one for the year I was born. She had taken them out into the war-zone to suppport her drawing papers.
In my talk on Sunday, I drew the comparison that we are all God’s naughty little children. We are just going through a naughty phase and will hopefully get better as we go along and become more like him. And I do have complete confidence that Juliet will become a wonderful woman someday.
Anyway, it was so so so fun to get with all our kids and grands. It filled up my heart!
Hope to see you and your family before too long. Keep up the good work. You are indeed doing God’s greatest work in your house and car and back yard.
Best to you and Howard and yours.
Anita Davis, Sarah’s mom.
Hi, Sandra. I was reading Schlock M, and saw your link so came over and read down to see how you survived the Tayler family reunion-a-thon. If you are the person you show yourself to be in your journal, then yeah for you. I can’t imagine that you would tell all the “clean the kitchen” and “hiding on the front porch” stories if you were trying to sugar coat yourself. Anyway, I could really relate in regards to getting to know Bill and Sarah’s kids, for example. They are such a treat for us and yet they can be naughty. Did Bill or Sarah tell you what Juliet did while she was here? We built a little temporary sand box because they just LOVE sand, but Jet was looking for cool ingredients to add to her “cooking”. I saw her look a little sideways at me, but I didn’t take the clue and a few minutes later there she was in the sand box with about 2 dozen of our green peaches, plucked from our 3 year old tree. When I asked her about it she said that there were still some left for me. Yikes. Later I was looking for the print-out of a talk by Pres. Benson and couldn’t find a couple of the pages I needed to prepare my Sacrament meeting talk. Outside, I not only found the pages with Juliet’s drawings on the back of each, but I also found our “antique” issues of the Era, one for the year Dennis was born and one for the year I was born. She had taken them out into the war-zone to suppport her drawing papers.
In my talk on Sunday, I drew the comparison that we are all God’s naughty little children. We are just going through a naughty phase and will hopefully get better as we go along and become more like him. And I do have complete confidence that Juliet will become a wonderful woman someday.
Anyway, it was so so so fun to get with all our kids and grands. It filled up my heart!
Hope to see you and your family before too long. Keep up the good work. You are indeed doing God’s greatest work in your house and car and back yard.
Best to you and Howard and yours.
Anita Davis, Sarah’s mom.
Hi Anita! Thanks for taking the time to reply. Feel free to stick around, I ramble in here nigh daily. It would be fun to get together with you and yours sometime. I hope that Bill and Sarah move back out west when they’re done with schooling. I’m glad you got a chance to spend time with their kids, they’re wonderful little people.
Take Care,
Sandra
Hi Anita! Thanks for taking the time to reply. Feel free to stick around, I ramble in here nigh daily. It would be fun to get together with you and yours sometime. I hope that Bill and Sarah move back out west when they’re done with schooling. I’m glad you got a chance to spend time with their kids, they’re wonderful little people.
Take Care,
Sandra