Today I am a jellyfish. I drift quietly in one place until some current of thought provides sufficient impetus for me to move somewhere else. I’ve spent lots of time staring at walls today. I stare at the walls while my brain processes all the things that have occurred in the last week. I have to process them now because I just stuffed all of it in the back of my brain to be dealt with later. “Later” has become now. So I sit and think and realize that I’m hungry. So I drift to the kitchen to eat. Then I sit in front of my empty plate and think until I realize that I want a shower. So I go and take a shower. Then I stand under the spraying water and think until I realize that I should probably wash my hair. You get the idea. None of this thinking is deep or complex. It’s all…drifty.
My kids have loved the fact that I’m sitting still. They happily come and snuggle in my lap and I happily let them. It has been a snugglesome day. I have been so focused and organized for so long it feels nice to just drift.
Tomorrow I’ll be closer to normal I think. But I’m not going to push anything this week. This week I’m going to take things slow. I need it. The kids need it. And I think that important things will still get done. But the most important thing I can be doing this week is unwinding and reconnecting with my kids who spent all last week shunted out of the way so I could get stuff done.
You are so good at explaining how I feel sometimes! I wish I had your gift! And it’s also comforting to know that I’m not the only one that feels that way at times.
You are so good at explaining how I feel sometimes! I wish I had your gift! And it’s also comforting to know that I’m not the only one that feels that way at times.