In each day I only have so much energy to make kids do stuff. On school days I focus on making them get ready for school and making them to homework. On Sunday I concentrate on making them get ready for church and making them behave themselves during church. Since teaching my kids to clean house is part of my parental duties, only Saturday is left for making the house clean. So on Saturday’s I make kids clean house. The problem with this schedule is that I rarely get a break from making them do stuff and they rarely get a break from having to do stuff.
I can’t just let the housework go. That results in a cluttered house and crankiness from everyone. But maybe if I expend just a little bit more energy on weekdays, there won’t be as much housework to do on Saturdays. Maybe I’ll take one Saturday a month and let us all goof off all day. As it stands I’ve been letting us all take a break from school by making us all clean house. When I put it that way, it doesn’t sound like a break at all.
More thought is necessary here.
Any chance there could be some short supporting jobs during the week that could contribute to Saturday time off? One or two 15 minute jobs during the week might help?
/does all the cleaning/cooking/getting kid ready for school
Any chance there could be some short supporting jobs during the week that could contribute to Saturday time off? One or two 15 minute jobs during the week might help?
/does all the cleaning/cooking/getting kid ready for school
5 minute clean ups
In our family we make a distinction between “deep cleaning” and “5 minute pick-ups”.
Deep cleaning is getting a particular room (or area of a room if it’s really bad) completely clean. This can consist of going through every piece of paper in every stack in the room, vacuuming around the edges of the room and under the furniture, washing windows and doors and walls, and anything else that might not be right in the room (up to but not including “home repairs”).
5 minute pick-ups consist of taking a literal 5 (five) minutes, and doing as much as you can to clean in that time. For a bedroom this could consist of making the bed and putting away the clothes and shoes. For the front room it could consist of straightening the couch cushions and any stacks of stuff in the room, and a very quick vacuuming of the main pathways. For the kitchen (in a non-dishwasher house) it might consist of clearing the table and organizing the dishes into stacks of similar items for convenience in washing. In a dishwasher house the kitchen might mean clearing the table and getting all the dishes into the dishwasher.
The idea is that it is a very focused time that everyone knows will be over quickly. It sometimes will work with our kids, but it definitely works with the adults. An advantage of doing 5 minute pick-ups is that it can show more easily which rooms actually need deep cleaning immediately rather than being “good enough” for another day or week.
5 minute clean ups
In our family we make a distinction between “deep cleaning” and “5 minute pick-ups”.
Deep cleaning is getting a particular room (or area of a room if it’s really bad) completely clean. This can consist of going through every piece of paper in every stack in the room, vacuuming around the edges of the room and under the furniture, washing windows and doors and walls, and anything else that might not be right in the room (up to but not including “home repairs”).
5 minute pick-ups consist of taking a literal 5 (five) minutes, and doing as much as you can to clean in that time. For a bedroom this could consist of making the bed and putting away the clothes and shoes. For the front room it could consist of straightening the couch cushions and any stacks of stuff in the room, and a very quick vacuuming of the main pathways. For the kitchen (in a non-dishwasher house) it might consist of clearing the table and organizing the dishes into stacks of similar items for convenience in washing. In a dishwasher house the kitchen might mean clearing the table and getting all the dishes into the dishwasher.
The idea is that it is a very focused time that everyone knows will be over quickly. It sometimes will work with our kids, but it definitely works with the adults. An advantage of doing 5 minute pick-ups is that it can show more easily which rooms actually need deep cleaning immediately rather than being “good enough” for another day or week.
saturdays
Oh I can so relate. I feel like I’m always nagging and the only thing that changes is the daily topic of nagage. Ethan complains that I’m always “bossing him around” and I counter with “That’s because I AM the boss.” But it’s really not my favorite role. How do I train them to be like those kids I hear rumors about — you know, those ones that do their chores willingly and study on their own and get ready for school without being reminded? I’m sure they exist out there somewhere. (But I suspect they are boring).
Julie Q.
saturdays
Oh I can so relate. I feel like I’m always nagging and the only thing that changes is the daily topic of nagage. Ethan complains that I’m always “bossing him around” and I counter with “That’s because I AM the boss.” But it’s really not my favorite role. How do I train them to be like those kids I hear rumors about — you know, those ones that do their chores willingly and study on their own and get ready for school without being reminded? I’m sure they exist out there somewhere. (But I suspect they are boring).
Julie Q.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
I like this idea, but how do you solve the problem of the child who works slowly so that the time will be up with little work done? Already clean up times feature regular arguements about how so-and-so isn’t really working and it’s not fair.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
I like this idea, but how do you solve the problem of the child who works slowly so that the time will be up with little work done? Already clean up times feature regular arguements about how so-and-so isn’t really working and it’s not fair.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
Perhaps not focusing on the “five minutes and you’re done” time element, but “here’s a small task that can be done in less than five minutes, if you don’t goof off”.
The goal is the task completion, and not the five-minutes-of-work. Pick something that can be easily done in five minutes if the kid doesn’t goof off. Then hold him to completion of the task, not necessarily the five minutes.
I remember reading a few weeks ago about how you announced ice cream was being served, but “only to children who had completed their chores” {paraphrasing}. Is that still a possibility, or has it stopped working? If it’s still an incentive, then may what you could do is plan on ice cream/rewards about ten minutes after chores start, which rewards the workers and hopefully motivates the goof-off to get moving.
Just free-wheeling thoughts here.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
Perhaps not focusing on the “five minutes and you’re done” time element, but “here’s a small task that can be done in less than five minutes, if you don’t goof off”.
The goal is the task completion, and not the five-minutes-of-work. Pick something that can be easily done in five minutes if the kid doesn’t goof off. Then hold him to completion of the task, not necessarily the five minutes.
I remember reading a few weeks ago about how you announced ice cream was being served, but “only to children who had completed their chores” {paraphrasing}. Is that still a possibility, or has it stopped working? If it’s still an incentive, then may what you could do is plan on ice cream/rewards about ten minutes after chores start, which rewards the workers and hopefully motivates the goof-off to get moving.
Just free-wheeling thoughts here.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
One way to counter the perceived unfairness of a task being harder or easier is to rotate the tasks.
In our family it was Saturday mornings for house chores, rotated between the kids – bathroom, living/dining/family room+ halls, or kitchen at what fred_of_mars would probably consider “deep cleaning” level. Bathroom cleanup was the one that usually was the most work: even though it was just one room, it involved scrubbing down the bathtub tile walls, tub, moving all the stuff off the little ledges for soap & shampoo and scrubbing the ledges, sink-counter-toilet, rinsing it all, then drying and replacing the objects, spraying & wiping the mirrors, mopping the floor and so on. We’d all prefer the multi-room living/dining/family-room + halls combo, because that tended to be easy – very few items to straighten up because we weren’t allowed to leave anything out on the tables or couch or floor overnight, and then just dust + vacuum. Time-consuming but easier and messier than scrubbing and such.
The tasks were rotated monthly between the kids so no one got stuck with the job perceived as least-desirable, except as punishment. With adult hindsight I think making the least-desireable jobs non-rotating for an extra month as punishment was a bad move, because it rewarded us for ratting each other out and making each other look bad, instead of rewarding cooperation. It also made doing housework come across as punitive instead of a regular part of life. I’m not sure what the answer is there, to teach the good habits without implanting negative associations.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
One way to counter the perceived unfairness of a task being harder or easier is to rotate the tasks.
In our family it was Saturday mornings for house chores, rotated between the kids – bathroom, living/dining/family room+ halls, or kitchen at what fred_of_mars would probably consider “deep cleaning” level. Bathroom cleanup was the one that usually was the most work: even though it was just one room, it involved scrubbing down the bathtub tile walls, tub, moving all the stuff off the little ledges for soap & shampoo and scrubbing the ledges, sink-counter-toilet, rinsing it all, then drying and replacing the objects, spraying & wiping the mirrors, mopping the floor and so on. We’d all prefer the multi-room living/dining/family-room + halls combo, because that tended to be easy – very few items to straighten up because we weren’t allowed to leave anything out on the tables or couch or floor overnight, and then just dust + vacuum. Time-consuming but easier and messier than scrubbing and such.
The tasks were rotated monthly between the kids so no one got stuck with the job perceived as least-desirable, except as punishment. With adult hindsight I think making the least-desireable jobs non-rotating for an extra month as punishment was a bad move, because it rewarded us for ratting each other out and making each other look bad, instead of rewarding cooperation. It also made doing housework come across as punitive instead of a regular part of life. I’m not sure what the answer is there, to teach the good habits without implanting negative associations.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
I’ll admit that most of the experience I have with 5 minute clean ups is as an adult working with another adult. The other times have been one-on-one parent+child work. That doesn’t necessarily work in your case with two children per adult. 🙂
I suspect the answer (as another poster suggested) is to figure out what “ought” to be about 5 minutes work for that child at their maturity level, health level, and medication status.
Example: Making the bed (easy way, NOT “hospital corners” level), dirty clothes into laundry, shoes into closet (or wherever is appropriate in your house). That should be 5 minutes or less for all but the slowest of “average” children in my estimate.
Re: 5 minute clean ups
I’ll admit that most of the experience I have with 5 minute clean ups is as an adult working with another adult. The other times have been one-on-one parent+child work. That doesn’t necessarily work in your case with two children per adult. 🙂
I suspect the answer (as another poster suggested) is to figure out what “ought” to be about 5 minutes work for that child at their maturity level, health level, and medication status.
Example: Making the bed (easy way, NOT “hospital corners” level), dirty clothes into laundry, shoes into closet (or wherever is appropriate in your house). That should be 5 minutes or less for all but the slowest of “average” children in my estimate.
rose_storylady
Have you forgotten these?
The person who picks up the last toy gets the first bedtime snack.
Designing a toy monster on a paper bag – cut a hole for the mouth and use it to pick up toys. This project can involve a mother stationed by the toy cupboard speedily putting things away as they are dumped. Or children could pick up as much as they can in 5 minutes and then put them away.
Using a puppet with a mouth that opens and shuts to pick up toys.
Each child picks up 20 or 30 or 50 items. (Legos get counted by the handful.)
Children receive points for completing tasks by the deadline and a certain number of points equals a vacation day. (Only one child may take a vacation on the same day.)
rose_storylady
Have you forgotten these?
The person who picks up the last toy gets the first bedtime snack.
Designing a toy monster on a paper bag – cut a hole for the mouth and use it to pick up toys. This project can involve a mother stationed by the toy cupboard speedily putting things away as they are dumped. Or children could pick up as much as they can in 5 minutes and then put them away.
Using a puppet with a mouth that opens and shuts to pick up toys.
Each child picks up 20 or 30 or 50 items. (Legos get counted by the handful.)
Children receive points for completing tasks by the deadline and a certain number of points equals a vacation day. (Only one child may take a vacation on the same day.)