Sandra Tayler

The book release at Dragon’s Keep was loads of fun. I was there from 11 am until 10 pm and during the entire time there were people to talk to and games to be played. There was also some stress because I was hostessing and had to make sure that the food table stayed filled. I really wish my voice wasn’t so hoarse today. I can’t inflect for humor anywhere near as well when my voice is hoarse.

The party was fun. It was also exhausting coming on the heels of two days of book mailing. Perhaps tomorrow when I’m not so tired I’ll regale with stories of games played and fun people met. Tonight I can’t do them justice.

I cannot thank anyone enough for the all the help. The past three days could not have worked without all the people who showed up with willing hands. I need to tell more about those specifics too.

For now I must get into bed before I fall asleep on the keyboard.

Today was much calmer. We had fewer people show up for the first part, which was perfect because there was less work to do. It was good that the chaos level was down a bit because we reached the difficult orders where the book packers had to look at each invoice to know what to put inside the package. By about 2 pm all the orders were filled. That’s when we relocated the party to our house. 10 volunteers all followed me home and helped us move over a ton of books from our garage to our basement. They made a chain and just handed the books down and got over 60 boxes moved in about 20 minutes.

Then we had the best part of the day. All our wonderful worker friends sat around with us and ate pizza while talking about fun stuff. I wish my voice hadn’t completely given out by that time, but it started the trek to gone yesterday and finished it today. I hope it is at least somewhat back tomorrow for the book release party. I’m looking forward to the party. Tomorrow I get to play. I’m so relieved to have all those packages out. I know this because at one point I found myself laughing uncontrollably over a joke that simply wasn’t that funny. It was funny, not 5 minutes of laughter funny. In the end everyone, including me, was laughing because I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s just so nice to be done.

I didn’t even mind bringing all the kids home. In fact I curled up on the couch and snuggled them while we watched a DVD. I honestly couldn’t think of anything I wanted more than to sit motionless on the couch snuggled up with my little people. They were so glad to have mommy sitting still. We watched the first two episodes of the first season of the original Star Trek series. My kids have never seen these shows. I haven’t seen them for years. I was surprised at how good they are. Yes there were things that made me want to laugh out loud, but the meat of the series is speculative short stories based around a stable set of characters. I’ve spent so many years telling jokes about Star Trek cliches that I forgot that the jokes are exagerated for the sake of humor. The kids were all enthralled. And after each episode I had to have a long discussion with Link about filmmaking tricks, people in monster suits, why we have salt in our bodies, and why it isn’t possible to suck all the salt out of our bodies. I’m looking forward to more snuggling while watching episodes. Perhaps I can create happy memories of Star Trek for my kids. I’d like that, because watching those episodes was like being transported back home to my childhood when they were regular television fare for me.

This morning I dispersed my children to the care of various friends. The mommy in me cried out “Yay! I get a vacation!” Then the business side of me replied “Vacation?! We have to work!”

Much work was done. Most of it was not done by me. Once again I am blown away by the kindness of Schlock fans. They showed up en masse to help us mail. Once again the work went faster that I would have believed possible. We’re 3/4 of the way done packing books. I am also blown away by the kindness of the postal workers. They came by with a truck twice and waived the pick up fee both times. They’ll be back tomorrow for a final pick up. It was the same truck driver who came by last May.

This morning I looked at my box full of invoices and felt like we’d never get it all done. By the end of the day I was worrying that there wouldn’t be enough to do tomorrow. Tomorrow from 11 am until about 2 pm we’ll be packing books at The Keep. Then we’ll shanghai a group of people with strong backs to help relocate books from our garage to our basement. The only drawback to the second part of this plan is that they’ll all get to see the disaster that is my house. I haven’t done much housework this week.

For tonight, I need to finish customs forms, print out some additional postage, pack up some more global mailers and put my kids to bed.

Today I flung myself bodily across the gap between our store software and the various shipping services. Now 1400 invoices with matching labels are prepared to march across my back and be transformed into packages.

Fortunately the rest of this process is going to be greatly facilitated by the willing minions volunteers who will be showing up for the work days. For the first time I actually feel like I have things sufficiently organized to manage it all at the Keep. There have naturally been adventures along the way. The credit card we used to buy postage was put on hold twice. Once yesterday and once today. Apparently purchasing $5000 of postage in $200 increments over the course of two days looks suspicious. The first time all I had to do was call the company and wade through an automated system to affirm that these charges were in fact placed by me. The second time I was fed through to an actual person who asked me multiple choice question about the color of Howard’s beetle and which of a list of people we spend the most time with. On the second question the correct answer was “I don’t know ANY of those names.” Credit card companies are careful about this kind of thing. Fortunately I was able to answer all the questions correctly and the hold was removed.

Other adventures of the day: Picking Kiki up from school early because she didn’t feel well. Putting Kiki to work stamping books since she was obviously not that sick. Eating lunch in the school cafeteria with Gleek, Patches, & Kiki. Taking three kids to Dragon’s Keep to drop off a load of shipping supplies. Helping Patches clean up a potty accident at Dragon’s Keep. (That makes 3 accidents in 3 days all at Dragon’s Keep. Agh.) Picking up Gleek from a friend’s house and driving slowly while she runs home next to the van because she wanted to walk instead of ride. She was thrilled to win a race with the car.

Later tonight I’m going to load the car with more shipping supplies and lots of books, then I’ll drive to the Keep with pajamad Gleek and Patches. Maybe they’ll fall asleep in the car. That would be really nice.

I am ready to go full speed ahead on all of the preparatory tasks for the book mailing party tomorrow. I have a million things to do today and my best shot at getting them all done is to build up a good head of steam and not stop until everything is done. If I stop I’ll realize how tired I am and how much I want to nap.

Unfortunately my kids are not ready to hop onto this train. Every time I start building momentum, a child has needs which require a full stop. I may have to dump my kids on a friend today so that I can get stuff done. I didn’t want to have to do that because they’re getting offloaded to others all day on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. On the other hand it is probably better for them to not see mommy than for them to get run over by the business train.

In the past 24 hours my children have asked me to buy:

A trampoline
a collapsible blue umbrella
footie pajamas
silky pajamas
art lessons that last twice as long
a $53 pastel set
candy
cookies
new video games because all the ones we have are boring
all the polly pocket sets in the world
a new backpack
a new computer for the family
a personal laptop computer
binder sheets for holding pokemon trading cards
a new robe
pizza

And they wonder why I always say no.

Having postnasal drip and a sore throat were not in my plans for today. Neither was being awake at 1:30 am and trying to explain to an 11 year old that “I’m afraid of the dark” is no longer an acceptable answer. At age 11 she is old enough to recognize fear of the dark as an indicator of some unresolved issue lurking in her brain. She is old enough to see the indicator and go hunting for causes rather than sitting in the dark afraid. It was a good conversation to have, I like her being able to seek out and destroy her own monsters, but I wish it could have taken place at an earlier hour.

The pace toward the Schlock book mailing days continues to increase. Today I have to stamp return addresses on many many mailers. I also have to fill out many customs forms. I have to print postage. I have to print labels. And through it all I have to pay enough attention to the kids that they don’t melt into puddles of neglect. All of this with a head cold and too little sleep. Whee.

Today was Link’s first day on medication at school. I informed the teacher ahead of time and asked her to watch for any differences. After school was over she called me to tell me how amazed she was. Link did every assignment as fast or faster than any of the other kids. In math he even asked for more work to do. A different teacher even commented that Link seemed really happy today. And Link talked. It was contained to appropriate talking times, but during those times he chattered. I observed the same thing over the weekend. Link is now talking two to four times as much as he did before. It’s like the dam which was blocking the flow of his ideas has burst and now they can flow out in words. Or perhaps it is like a prisoner who has been set free. He was trapped in his own mind, overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks. Today he had an upset here at home and in order to resolve it I had to use tactics that I’m more used to using on Kiki. I didn’t have to talk slow or repeat myself to make sure he understood me.

These changes in Link are close to miraculous. Via medical intervention he has suddenly become the person we all felt he could be, but wasn’t. And yet I am wary. The shackles are off and he is flying. But he is flying so fast and so high that I’m afraid of a crash. I’m afraid to trust that this new person will stay. What if this new brilliance is a temporary effect and he will have to go back to how he was? I don’t want first hand experience of the Algernon effect. Also everything in life has a cost. This new Link is brilliant, what are we giving up? It is possible that we are only giving up things that we don’t mind losing, but I still need to identify what they are. I need to know the emotional/psychological cost. (The fiscal cost is going to be $90 per month if our insurance doesn’t help cover it.) One cost could be an emotional dependence on the medication. Link loves who he has been these past three days. I still need to make sure that he learns that the medication is only allowing him to access his intelligence, not providing something he otherwise wouldn’t have.

I am afraid, and hopeful, and relieved, and happy. Link in flight is a beautiful thing.

Subject 1:
My sister Nancy was talking in her blog about the relationship between writers and editors. She explains how she used to feel like they were gods and demigods, but has since grown to view them as peers and business partners. She’s also achieved some demi-god status as a slush reader for Baen and was wondering what she can do to help other writers come to the same realization of editors as human beings. My response to her:

Let me ask you this, when did you really feel like a grown up? I first felt grown up when I made a major decision based on my own internal guidance without reference to parental opinions. To quote Bujold “Adulthood isn’t an award they’ll give you for being a good child…You have to just take it. Give it to yourself.”

For the relationship between an editor and a writer to become business-like the writer has to decide to “grow-up” and stop kow-towing. The actions of the editor can facilitate the writer in doing this, but ultimately the writer has to reach out and take it.

The difference between and aspiring writer and a writer is only in the label that the writer applies to herself.

Subject 2:
Howard has been working on sketch editions all afternoon. Hopefully he’ll be able to finish his quota of 200. Whether he does or not, he is going to be tired and sore. I spent lots of time today hauling books to Kiki so that she could stamp them. Then I hauled them into Howard’s office to await sketching. Then I hauled 200 of them to Howard’s car so he could take them to the Keep and draw in them. Then I sat hunched at my computer printing out labels for a couple of hours. I have muscles which are seriously unhappy at my choices of activity. This next week is going to be exhausting. But I’m so glad it is here. I’m so glad that books are continuing to sell. I’m so glad to get the huge weight of unsent orders off of my brain. Life is good.

Subject 3:
On a typical Saturday I will give Link a list of chores to do. Usually he glances at the list, feels overwhelmed, and goes off to play. So I’ll go to him and tell him which chore to start on. If the chore is straightforward like emptying a trashcan, he’ll do it willingly. If the chore is something like picking up his bedroom floor or folding and putting away clothes, he won’t be able to rap his head around it. He just doesn’t even know where or how to start. So I’ll stand there and say “Now put away the shoes. Now put away the ball. Now put away the…” Occasionally he has days where he can prioritize by himself and do his work solo, but only if he is extremely motivated by a very shiny reward. Even then, it takes hours, because he spends half the time distracted.

Today Link looked at our family room strewn with toys and began to work. He’d pick up a toy that belonged in his room, deliver it there, and come straight back in less than 30 seconds. He kept an accurate count of all the toys he picked up all the way to 200. He even created a tally sheet to help with the counting. Let me emphasize this: He decided to create a tally sheet, created it, and then went back to work rather than beginning to draw cartoon characters for an hour. He worked hard, was tired, and decided to take a break. So he set a 5 minute timer for himself. During his break he played happily. Then the moment the timer beeped, he jumped to his feet, turned off the timer and went back to work. He gave himself timed breaks several times. Eventually he wore out and asked if he could be done. I told him that he could, but that he’d have to empty his laundry basket later. He then played happily and watched movies for a good part of the afternoon. When I got out the ice cream and announced that only kids who were finished with their chores could have ice cream, Link announced that he was going to empty his laundry basket. 15 minutes later he returned downstairs with the empty basket. I do not think that Link has EVER emptied his laundry basket without help.

I’m thinking that the medication has an effect on him. I’m cautious about this assessment because one day isn’t enough for an accurate baseline. At one point this morning I was a little worried that maybe the medicine was hyping him up too much. But he reassured me by relaxing most of the afternoon. I’ve watched him all day for any negative side effects. I haven’t seen any yet. He’s just Link. He’s Link, only he can get his work done. He felt great about today. He felt great about himself. Today we got to praise him for the fantastic job he was doing rather than having to scold him for things left undone.