Author name: Sandra Tayler

Last night Howard and I spent some time reviewing all the things we need to get done this week and making contingency plans in case things go wrong. I found myself very stressed over the fact that I’m currently short about 400 mailers. I ordered them over a month ago, the shipment got lost. I called the company last Monday and they sent a new shipment which they assured me would arrive last Friday. It didn’t. Howard kept coming up with calm/logical plans about what we’ll do if the mailers don’t show up in time. I found myself vehemently resisting being de-stressed.

When I took a step back to analyse this behavior I realized that it was classic displacement. There are so many ways the book mailing could go wrong and it is so important to get it right. This creates a lot of free floating tension, but nothing to DO about it. It was almost comforting to have a small aspect to be actively stressed over. If I was focused on the lack of mailers I couldn’t see potential larger stresses like “what if the books don’t show up until Friday?” or “What if the books show up and they’re poorly constructed?” I’m so tense and I won’t feel relaxed until people start recieving their books and loving them.

This morning I needed to finish printing out addresses and postage. To do so requires an internet connection. Guess what is currently not working. I’m trying very hard not to fly into a dithering panic over this. At least we got things straightened out with the credit card company. They took one look at $650 of postage purchasing, called it suspicious activity, and put a hold on the card. I’ve still got $900 more postage to put on that card. When the bill comes I’ll pay it off with shipping & handling money.

So with no mailers to prep and no ability to print postage I’m searching for something I can be doing NOW. Something I can get done so that I don’t have to do it later. Later this week is only going to get busier. I should probably tackle the Release Party menu and purchasing list.

And I should Not Panic. I should definitely Not Panic.

I’m trying to pull my livejournal entries into a Microsoft word document. I use the livejournal backup utility to save them out in html format, but when I pull that into Word there is all sorts of weird formatting. Each entry is a separate table. All I want are the date, subject, and body of the entry, everything else is garbage. I cannot figure out how to eliminate the formatting in a way that is not tedious. (Like cut and paste or find and replace) Any ideas for me?

I’m currently re-reading Komarr by Lois Bujold. It is one of my favorite books. Pretty much anything Ms. Bujold writes qualifies as a favorite book. Her characters feel like family. I can identify with them. I particularly like the character Ekaterin, probably because she’s a mother and a gardener as well as a strong, intelligent woman. Howard doesn’t reread books very often, but I do. When I’m stressed and want to shut my brain off I want something to read. But I don’t want a new book. A new book will either make mework too hard comprehending a new universe, bore me, or suck me in so thoroughly that I neglect everything else. During stressed times this last is particularly dangerous because staying up until 2 am to finish a book does nothing to relieve stress. Today I need familiar distraction so I can ignore the looming events of next week for a few moments here and there.

Next week is Book Week. Our original time table had books arriving last Wednesday and we planned to be mailing them today. A shipping delay scratched that plan. Now the books are arriving Tuesday or Wednesday and we’ll be shipping Thursday and Friday. Saturday is the party. I did not want those events crunched together. Right now I’m mostly in a holding pattern. Most of the preparatory work is done, so I’m waiting on the arrival of books. And reading. Yay Bujold!

I owe my mother an apology, and a couple days before Mother’s Day seems like a good time to extend it. See, for years I’ve believed that my lack of good housekeeping skills were due to lack of correct training during my childhood. Somehow I entered the adult world without understanding how to clean up after myself. This was a source of great frustration to college roommates and then to Howard. It has only been in the last year that I’ve realized that my lack of housekeeping skills is not my mother’s fault. She DID teach me how to clean. I have many memories of her teaching me how to mop the floor or scrub the toilet or load the dishwasher. What she didn’t do was require such work out of us kids on a daily basis so that they became second nature. I finally understand why. She had seven kids. SEVEN. Every single day she had to choose which of the many important things would actually get done. She consistently chose creative endeavors over make-your-bed-every-day rigidity. I cannot fault that choice because I find myself making exactly the same choices every single day. I have four kids. Every day I have to decide whether to interrupt beautiful cooperative play in order to make the kids do work. I have to decide whether to spend energy on homework or housework. I have to choose whether to spend energy making meals or making kids work. More often than not, making kids do housework is the piece I let slide. For years I’ve felt guilty about this. I’ve felt like I was failing in the same way that I percieved that my mother failed. But that’s where I was wrong. My mother did not fail. She gave me every single piece I needed to be a productive and useful adult. It was my job to put them into application. It is not fair of me to whine because my mother didn’t make me be a clean person. I look at my siblings. All of us are intelligent, creative, useful people. The ones who are married have great marriages and are great parents. There is no way on earth that anyone can look at that parenting track record and consider it in any way a failure. If I can parent as well as my parents did, I will rejoice.

There are many many mailing tasks for me to arrange before the books arrive. All of the bubble mailers have to be stamped “media mail” Mailing lists have to be organized, address changes need to be made, etc. International orders are even more complex because each one has to have a customs form attached. I haven’t figured out any way to automate the customs forms without spending $2000 and setting up an entirely different ordering and shipping system (which we may do for the next book). So I’ve been filling out the customs forms by hand.

These forms also need to be affixed to the Global Priority Mailers. I hadn’t done that yet because of all the other things to do. This morning I got out a sponge and prepared to wet forms and stick them to mailers. I slapped that first form onto a mailer where it promptly curled up and fell off. I tried a second form on the chance that the glue on the first form was defective. Nope. Same result. I attempted licking on the off chance that the problem was the sponge. curling and falling. I shoved aside the three curly forms and grabbed the scotch tape. That worked, but I have 330 of these to do. It was too time intesive and expensive in tape. I tried a glue stick. The form still curled up around the edges a little, but it stayed put. Glue it was.

Upon determining that I’d have to hand glue all these forms I took a break for breakfast. Howard wandered into the kitchen and looked at the evidence of my frustration. He picked up one of the curly forms and examined it closely. He then peeled the paper backing off of the self-adhesive form and stuck it to the mailer.

They are stickers.
Howard saved me from hand gluing 330 stickers.
Yay for Howard.

But now I feel sheepish.

Just as I was preparing to leave the house with two kids in tow, a friend called to see if Gleek could go with them to the library story time. Once I was done doing the gleeful dance of only taking one child to the store , I politely told them that yes it would be just fine with me. I handed Gleek off and took Patches along for the errands. Much nicer. Patches didn’t fall asleep on the way home, so I had to scratch that idea. Now I’ve just finished picking Link up from school and I’m eating my lunch because, as predicted, I forgot to eat it earlier. So far it has been a better day than I’d anticipated. Still busy though.

Today:
Get kids off to school
Get Gleek & Patches dressed and make them do Morning Things this will almost certainly include at least one tantrum.
Load Gleek & Patches into the car to run errands This will probably include chasing kids around the front yard.
Go to Post office I need to check to PO box, ask a question about customs forms placement, pick up a pile of mailing tubs, and something else that I’m currently not remembering. While I do this Gleek and Patches will attempt to play with the automatic sliding doors and I’ll attempt to keep them from annoying other patrons or injuring themselves.
Price catering food at Sam’s Club I have to tour the entire food section of Sam’s Club writing down prices and making mental calculations so that I can feed the volunteers who help us mail out books and so that I can plan food for the Book Release party. While I’m doing all this thinking, writing, and calculating Gleek and Patches will attempt to fall out of the shopping cart or flee through the store requiring me to chase them down.
Go to the Library My original plan for this stop included me going inside and acquiring a selection of books for reading to kids and for kids to read. I wanted lots of Dr. Seuss because his stories are long & rythmic, ideal bedtime reading for Gleek who needs help to wind down. Then I realized that I do not want to go insane today by persuing my children through a third location. I’ll be stuffing books into the drive thru book drop.
Home again Hopefully on the journey home Patches will fall asleep and take a nice long nap. Last night he napped from 6-8pm which meant I was parenting at 10pm when I wanted down time.
Mailing list manipulation I need to do the final mailing list downloads and address changes and sorting. Once the lists are finalized I need to take the scary step of printing the lists through stamps.com. This is scary because I’ll start paying for postage. I’ll be spending over a thousand dollars on postage before I mail anything. I sent a test package and it worked, but my brain still provides nightmares of the postal service returning thousands of packages to my door because I failed to do something correctly.
Pick up kids from school this requires me to coax Gleek & Patches into the car, argue with them about buckling up, argue again about how we’re not going to climb out of the car to play on the school playground, wait and wait and wait for Link to make his way to the car, then argue with all three kids to get them OUT of the car upon returning home. An hour later I get to repeat the process to pick up Kiki.
Realize I forgot lunch Gleek and Patches won’t let me forget to feed them entirely. They’ll probably get sandwiches shoved into their hands. There is a high probability that I’ll forget to feed me though. I mean here it is 9 am and I haven’t had breakfast yet because I’ve been too busy with the first item on this list.
Remember to require chores My incentive plan only works if I keep track of it. Link in particular tends to procrastinate. Supposedly he isn’t allowed to play with friends or video games until his five Morning Things are done. However if he waits until I’m tired, stressed, or distracted he can get to do the fun things without doing the chores first. He’s not being deliberately sneaky, but it undermines the responsiblity I’m attempting to teach. So I need to not get too tired, stressed, or distracted to require the work first.
Dinner this would probably be a good idea.
Homework Hopefully a peaceful homework time, but usually very similar to herding cats.
Bedtime Patches & Gleek are having a hard time settling down to bed lately. Some of this is directly due to a lack of parental attention during the day. I have to carve out some quiet time for each of them when I read stories and help them slow their bodies and brains so that they can fall asleep easily. Link and Kiki are a little less time intensive, but only a little.
Downtime In theory I get some of this today.

Tomorrow has a list similar to today’s. So does Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Monday books arrive and the pace will pick up even further. I’m going to be running on adrenaline and too little sleep for the next three weeks. I’d be scared and worried, only I don’t have time for it.