Author name: Sandra Tayler

I’ve been in denial for a long time, but the time has come for me to actively tackle potty training Patches. I’ve been mentally planning to wait until June when I wouldn’t have to babysit NotMyBaby anymore. But due to fortuitious circumstances NMB is going elsewhere for childcare and I have my hands and brain more available to ponder potty training processes.

I’m not going to be pulling out the underpants just yet. For the next week (or month) I’ll be encouraging Patches to sit on the potty about 15 minutes after every meal. Eventually the gastrointestinal reflex will work in my favor and I’ll get to reward Patches hugely for filling the potty.

Patches won’t get to wear underpants until I’m no longer changing stinky diapers.

I don’t like dreaming about my children being dead, but sometimes I do. I don’t dream of traumatic deaths, mostly I dream that a certain child is just gone. They are dreams about grief and about the huge hole the absense of that particular child would leave in my life. Last night I dreamed such a dream about Gleek. I dreamed that she never got to take her dance classes. Fortunately I awoke from the dream to discover that Gleek had snuck into bed with me. I was able to snuggle her for awhile before putting her back in her own bed so I could sleep the rest of the night.

This morning when Gleek woke up I took a few extra minutes to snuggle her on the couch. Gleek is only really snuggly when she’s sleepy, I need to savor the times when she is, because she’ll soon be too big to bundle up in my lap. When that happens I will grieve a little for the 5 year old Gleek that is no more, but only a little, because I’ll have a whole new Gleek to love. The thought of not having my 5 year old Gleek and the future being empty of other iterations of Gleek, makes me want to cry. And snuggle her lots more.

I don’t like these dreams, but I think it is good I have them sometimes. The dreams make me take a look at what I have and appreciate it lots more.

My parents offered to pay for a dance class for Gleek. This is a wonderful development because Gleek needs something to enrich her life and she loves both music and moving around. I’ve been feeling like a dance class would be good for her, but with our budget so tight I was holding off on enrolling her. With my parent’s offer I tackled the project of picking the right dance class.

Not all dance classes are created equal, so I knew I wanted to choose carefully. My first step was the yellow pages. There were more than 30 dance studios listed. I rejected any that were more than a 5 minute drive from my house. That brought the number down to 5. One of those only taught irish step dancing, not what I was looking for. I wanted a combination class that would introduce Gleek to several styles of dance. Another one answered my inquiry about classes with the information that enrollment was closed until May. That left 3 studios for me to evaluate. I figured that Gleek should be able to participate in the selection process, so I piled her in the car and we went to go see the three studios.

I was predisposed to like the studio that had “Ballet” and “conservatory” in the name. It sounded so high class and artistic. Once I got there and began talking to the lady behind the desk I realized that “conservatory” is a code name for “expensive.” The monthly class fees were reasonable ($37), but then there was a registration fee ($30). And you had to buy both ballet gear and tap gear which they’d be happy to sell at premium prices (about $50). And of course you had to buy a costume for the upcoming recital ($40), only they’d already ordered the costumes, so there would be a late fee (probably $30, but maybe more). I knew it wasn’t my money I was spending, but $187 sounded steep for start up costs on a beginner class. I decided to check out the other studios.

The next place had “club” in the name, which appealed to Gleek. The lobby was half waiting area, half shop for glitzy dance gear. This one actually had a class running that Gleek could watch. She loved it. She loved the shiny things in the lobby. I asked about prices, the registration fee was comparable, but they’d pulled a trick with the pricing. The monthly fee was $55, but if you paid before the 15th of the month they gave you a $15 discount. Why they didn’t just say $40 per month with a late fee? This studio didn’t require recitals or costumes and didn’t require any specific dance gear. I liked that part. I also liked that this studio focused on jazz, ballet, and tumbling. Gleek loves doing tricks, so tumbling will be right up her alley. What I didn’t like was the glitz. I looked at all the pictures of little girls on the walls wearing little slinky outfits with make up and I felt uncomfortable. I want my daughter to be able to dance, not to grow up fast.

Gleek loved the “club” and voted firmly in favor of it. I was tired and ready to just go home, so I was ready to accept the club. We didn’t have to decide right away because Gleek was allowed a trial class before we spent any money. But before we could go home we had to acquire the all important dance clothes. I happen to know that Kmart is a better supplier of dance clothes than Walmart, so we went there. Gleek fell in love with a pink leotard with silver stars. We got that, ballet shoes, and some tights. Yay, mission accomplished, we went home.

At home my brain wouldn’t stop running. I called some neighbors and asked where they had taken their daughters for dance. They’d all gone different places, but several provided low opinions of the “club”. They said it was pushy. I decided that it was worth my time to try the last studio.

This last studio failed to impress me over the phone because an unknowledgable teen answered and because they had no ad in the phone book to give me information. But it was closer to home than the other two (walking distance even), so I decided to give it a look. It was small without big shiny windows. The only thing they sold was dance lessons not dance gear. There were two classes running and I liked the interactions I saw. The classes were all combination classes of Jazz, Ballet, and Tumbling. But what I liked best of all were the group photos on the wall. The girls were all simply dressed and there were smiling confident girls of all body types even on their performing teams. The message was clear, you don’t have to be skinny to be good at dancing. The classes and registration fees were cheaper by about $5 each and there were girls in the classes wearing sweats and socks.

Gleek will be having lessons at this last Studio. For awhile she was holding out for the “club” but what she really cares about is getting to dance. Right NOW. Unfortunately her free trial class isn’t until Tuesday. I’ve got five more days in which to answer incessant reiterations of “Is it Tuesday yet?”

Kiki was truly inspired by the art exhibit at the zoo. The pieces that impressed her most were an eagle constructed out of layers of paper and a picture composed entirely of yarn. She is currently making plans to create pictures composed of small objects. She plans a pair of birds created out of ripped paper. She plans a picture done in paint pointilist style. She also plans a picture composed of tiny colored pebbles. She is only 10, but I believe she actually has the patience and skill to pull these off. I’m being supportive. In fact part of me is interested enough that I want to try a ripped paper project myself. As if I didn’t have enough projects going right now.

Kiki is also talking about starting up art lessons again. She has too many activities going on this spring, but I’ve told her we’ll consider it for next fall. I’m so glad to see her pursuing this interest and developing a creative outlet. I’m also very glad for her to have something she can feel really accomplished about.

Since Howard quit Novell our lives have been much less stressed. One disadvantage of this is that when I do get stressed, all of my coping mechanisms involve spending money to make the stress go away. Today I was shaky/stressed and I really wanted to not have to think about food preparation. Unfortunately buying pizza or fast food are not solutions I can afford to apply to that type of problem right now. Instead I spent money on boil-it-yourself tortelloni at the grocery store. Not expensive, but not on our usual menu either.

Fortunately this evening I was able to take some time to figure out a spreadsheet program and the label making program. Now the thought of creating labels no longer makes me want to hide in bed with a book. This is good.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous entry with helpful information about bulk mailing and label making. Many of your tips got put to good use during tonight’s hike up the learning curve.

My babysitting gig is coming to an end. A relative of NotMyBaby’s mother has moved into town and expressed an interest in watching NMB. The relative will probably do the childcare for free which will be a big relief for their budget and completely undercuts my prices. I’m actually glad for this development. I’ve been wanting to throw myself into household and yard projects, but have been prevented by NMB’s needs. The extra income was nice, but doing book keeping for Chalain is going to provide about the same amount of money with less impediment to my desired projects.

The biggest of these projects is the forthcoming Schlock book. We’ve decided to self publish the book and handle all the inventory and shipping ourselves. This is a huge undertaking. I’m excited for the challenge and extra glad that I don’t have to figure out how to do it while watching an increasingly active toddler. The book will be off to the printer in just about a week. 30 days later we’ll have preview copies. 30 days after that we’ll have thousands of books to store, package, and ship.

In the next 30 days I need to:
discuss bulk mailing options with a USPS customer service person
Figure out what format I want the pre-order mailing lists to be in
Figure out how to quickly create mailing labels from mailing lists
Calculate shipping to various locations in the world so we can set up pre-ordering

In the next 60 days I need to:
price and order mailers
Make space in the storage room for thousands of books
create a workspace where I can regularly be packing books for shipping
set up financial software for inventory tracking

All of that is in addition to the impending spring yard work projects. (I always long for warm weather so I can be outside, but I forget how much more work my yard is during warm weather.)

I’m very excited to finally be so close to having books. The time is right. All the pieces are falling into place. And the sample pages I’ve seen look wonderful.

Today I broke out my zoo pass to take the kids to the local zoo. They had a day off from school and it seemed a good day for it. I was frustrated and dismayed to discover that the local zoo does not honor the zoo pass that I have. Grr. That completely derails my plans for taking the kids to the zoo regularly all summer long. Fortunately the local aviary DOES honor the pass, so it isn’t completely wasted. I would not have minded this discovery so much if I’d made it by phone rather than at the zoo entrance with 4 children hyper to see the animals. I decided to just spend money on admission and let the kids see the zoo. I then had to prevent myself from spending the rest of the afternoon making mental price/fun ratio comparisons.

Fortunately the kids had no such mental arithmetic to disturb their enjoyment. They ran gleefully from exhibit to exhibit admiring animals. They also got joy from the running I think. Each trip to a zoo has a different highlight from previous visits even if the zoo is exactly the same. The highlight this time was the small animal and reptile house. I think part of the reason we spent so much time there was that the kids were worn out from all the running. They were ready to stand still and watch squirrel sized monkeys at play. Also it was warm inside the building and outside was a bit chilly. Patches favorite exhibit was the one labelled “This exhibit is empty”, to further emphasize the emptiness of the exhibit some employee had placed a toy godzilla, a toy airplane, and a toy car on the rocks. Patches thought the purple car was the coolest exhibit in the zoo. He likes animals, but he lights up for machines. I need to take him to the aerospace museum.

The kids all had a great time. I did too once I managed to let go the frustration. The museum had an art exhibit that completely wowed Kiki. Some of the art was done by children her age and we spent a few moments learning how to submit art for next year’s exhibit. Kiki is fully capable of doing something show worthy if she decides to devote herself to it. Kiki was also much struck by the old houses in Salt Lake City that we drove past on the way to the zoo. She has decided that she never wants to live in an apartment. Instead she wants to move into a little house like the ones that we saw. In fact she intends to start saving money for a down payment so that she can achieve this goal.

I’ve definitely come away from today’s trip feeling inspired to take my kids to more zoos, museums, and other cultural places. They think new thoughts after seeing such things. And I’ve discovered that my crew have reached ages where it is possible for me to keep track of them all without feeling frantic the whole time. I love that my older kids help me keep track of my younger kids.

I had yesterday all planned. I spent the morning cleaning the house so that the evening could be spent doing dinner with an online friend and his family. All went well, until about 20 minutes after their arrival when Patches threw up.

The guests decided to stay and risk exposure. I quarantined Patches to his bedroom where he slept when not actually vomiting. The dinner and visiting seemed to go fairly well. I know I had fun, I just wish my attention had been a little less split. I also hope that their family failed to take the bug home with them. It frustrates me to provide a vector for unpleasant bugs.

Patches was sick all night. I slept on a mat near his bed. By morning I wasn’t feeling well either. Fortunately in my case some extra sleep in my own bed and a light lunch have remedied most of that.

In other news: Zathura is a good movie for kids. My kids were enthralled and have just embarked on a second veiwing. Maybe I’ll go sneak and have a bath while they’re busy.

I’m about to commit parental heresy: Homework is not always the most important thing to do. I know that it is my job to make sure homework gets done, thus supporting the educational efforts of the teachers at school, but sometimes other things are more important to me. Like being able to eat dinner in peace. Or making the kids stop screaming. Or fielding a business call. Or closing my eyes in exhaustion for a few minutes while hiding in the bathroom with the door locked.

I feel guilty about this, but it doesn’t change the fact that when juggling all the facets of my life I sometimes choose the homework ball as the one to drop. I try to catch it on the bounce, but I still dropped it.

Parent teacher conferences are tomorrow and I can tell already that Link’s teacher is going to want to talk about issues for which I’ve yet to find answers. I can tell from the politely desperate tone to her notes. And I have guilt because I’m very aware of all the nights in the past few months where Link didn’t do reading or homework because life was hectic and in my head second grade homework isn’t as critical as 5th grade homework. Way to encourage good study habits mom.

As you may have guessed, this was a rough evening. It was significantly complicated by a series of visitors and phone calls which always seemed to occur just when I’d begun to get the children under control. Fortunately valuable things may come of all the visitors and phone calls so I’m accepting this evening’s chaos as advance karmic payment for those future good things.