Sandra Tayler

Daddy time

It used to be that Howard travelled on business for Novell once a month or more. I missed him lots when he was gone, but the kids didn’t. If he wasn’t on trips, he was busy. The liked him, but having him gone just didn’t make much difference in their daily routines.

Today Howard left for a trip to a convention. Thus far this evening Gleek has tantrumed because she wanted her daddy home for a hug, Patches asked where daddy was, and Link climbed into my lap asking when his daddy would be home and responded to the question “why do you want to know?” with the answer: “Because I like him.”

Our home is a much better place than it used to be.

Week in Review

This past week surely had some fun things to tell, amusing anecdotes to share. To be honest I was too busy and stressed to notice. Monday was a day to try to get the house undercontrol, prepare for hosting preschool, and seeing Serenity. Tuesday was the Preschool day and when I’m hosting it wipes me out all day. Wednesday was Parent Teacher conferences. In theory that only takes place in the afternoon, but it loomed so much that it took up the whole day. Thursday was again prepping for preschool, trying to bring the house mess under control, helping Howard pack, and fall’s last soccer game. This morning was Preschool which included a field trip to the local garden center. It has been a busy week, but not an effective one. On none of the nights did I get enough sleep and so I was tired and sat when I should have worked. And here I am doing it again.

Pet peeve

Minor cinematic pet peeve that I need to get out of my system:

Why is it that women in action movies, who KNOW they are headed into life-or-death combat, do not take a moment to tie back their long hair? Or even cut it off?

I currently have long hair and enjoy having it, but it frequently gets in my way, so I always tie it back or put it up. If I were headed into a combat situation I would shear it all off to an inch long. I would not want to die because my hair got into my eyes at the wrong moment.

Serenity

I saw Serenity today. I’ve been waiting for that movie ever since I watched all of the episodes of Firefly last fall. I was not disapointed. I’m still trying to assimilate stuff from the movie and I want to write about it, but I don’t want to ruin the movie for those who haven’t seen it, so I’m going to use an LJ cut. Beyond the cut and in the comments there will be movie spoilers. Read further at your own peril. …

Up all night

Last night I went to bed an hour later than I should have. Sometimes books are hard to put down y’know? During the night I was awakened once by Patches, once by Gleek, once by Kiki, and four times by Link. Now I’m up. Whee.

I’ve got to get two kids off to school, do my weekly accounting, wash laundry, prepare to host preschool tomorrow, retrieve two kids from school, and all of that before 3:45 when my babysitter shows up so that I can go see Serenity.

I should probably sneak a nap in there so that I don’t fall asleep during the movie. The joys of parenting do not include being awakened in the middle of the night because your 8 year old can’t find his gameboy.

And now the day is gone

Any day that begins with sleeping in followed by breakfast and a long hot bath can’t be too bad. The luxurious bath came courtesy of Shark Boy and Lava Girl which had the kids so enthralled that I dared hop into the tub for a bit.

Most of the rest of the day was spent doing projects while listening to General Conference on the radio. The kids watched too many videos and ate far too much left over snack food, but I figure one day won’t hurt them or me. Tomorrow I plan to actually sit down and create a real meal plan for the month of October. That way I’ll actually be cooking more and we’ll be eating fewer sandwiches, hot dogs, and quesadillas

Tonight I’ll put the kids to bed and then I plan to sit down and watch Ella Enchanted. I’ve already seen it once, but that time I was chasing over excited children in a small space and so I didn’t get to fully enjoy the movie. I rented it this weekend as a potential video for the Kiki party, but they chose something else.

Not a noteworthy day, but a pleasant one nonetheless.

A thought that coalesced in my head

As a parent it is my job to spread acceptance, not to be seeking it. My children and their friends are not the source to which I should turn for affirmation. I will build better relationships with my kids and their friends if I am confident in myself than if I am twisting around to seek their approval.

This thought will probably be increasingly important as my kids turn into teens. As they and their friends mature physically they’ll start feeling more like peers whom I need to impress. Their opinions need to matter to me, but my own approval of myself should be the one that counts.

Soccer Games & punctuality

I am usually a punctual person. Even when I have to drag 4 kids along with me I plan ahead and still get places on time, or even early. So it is very frustrating that out of 7 soccer games that Link has played I’ve been late to every one of them. The first time was forgivable because I was driving an unfamiliar route and mis-estimated times. The second time I had to scramble for chairs and water bottles. But by the third game the scramble to make sandwiches, get Link dressed, and get out the door should have been sufficiently systematized that I made it to the games on time. I guess I just didn’t want to accept the fact that I need 30-40 minutes to prep for soccer-game departure. I want down time after the Kiki pick-up, not to head straight into soccer prep.

Last week I was ready. I had all the kids in the car, we left on time, and then we spent 15 minutes stuck in traffic at a railroad crossing waiting for a train to decide to move. Fortunately most of the traffic we were stuck in was full of all the other soccer kids & coaches, so the game started late and we didn’t miss any of it. Today I was determined to actually be at the field and set up before the game began. At Soccer Game – 20 minutes all was looking well. Sandwiches were made, chairs were already in the car, kids had been warned. Then almost simultaneously Link had a frustrating moment with Super Mario 64 and declared he didn’t want to go to soccer, Kiki wanted me to find a video for her to watch while we were gone, Gleek disappeared out the back door to play at her friend’s house, and Patches’ had massive diaper failure.

The diaper failure was the most urgent problem, so I picked up Patches at arm’s length and carried him to the changing table. Kiki and Link, both fascinated by the mess, accompanied me. The smell quickly drove Kiki out of the room, but Link chose a moment half way through clean up to break out in tears because he didn’t want to miss his school carnival which also took place this evening. (That carnival is a whole different story, I’ll append it to the end of this post.) So I had to manage an emotional crisis while in the midst of toxic waste clean up. When Patches was sanitary again I turned him loose so that I could focus on Link. I talked through why we weren’t going to the carnival and helped him remember that he likes soccer and would be sad to miss his game.

I left Link to get dressed and ran over to the neighbor’s house to either retrieve Gleek or obtain permission for her to stay during the game. They were headed to the school carnival, so she had to come home. This involved chasing her twice around the yard and then over to my house where I instructed her to get her shoes on. By this time Link was in tears again because he couldn’t find all his soccer gear. I located it and helped him with his socks, shoes, & shin guards because those seem to be physically impossible for him to get on by himself. I sent Link out to the car. I grabbed the video for Kiki and instructed her that she was NOT to turn it on until the car pulled out of the driveway. (I didn’t need kids crying about missing a movie). Patches had gotten involved in a computer game, but fortunately all I had to say was “I’m going!” and he ran to me in fear of being left behind. So we all got into the car. Patches had no shoes, Gleek was still dressed in her princess dress-ups from a birthday party earlier in the day, and Link had achieved a state of anticipation. We pulled out of the driveway at Soccer Game + 5. The 10 minute drive made us a grand total of 15 minutes late. One game left. Maybe I’ll get to THAT one on time.

Rant about the School Carnival:
Locally PTA units run a fall carnival to raise money for programs. I like the PTA, I think they do good things. I don’t mind them raising money to help support the school, that is also a good thing. This year the carnival featured between 6-12 rented inflatable toys and other rides. Those things do not come cheap and so tickets for the carnival were 5 for $1 or $8 for an unlimited-rides armband. Those were the pre-sale prices, at-the-event prices were higher. Each ride was scheduled to take 2-4 tickets. For me to take my four kids with unlimited rides I would have been dropping almost $40 up front. Or I could spend $10 and get each of my kids 2-3 rides. Then there would have been the begging for candy and food and the stress of keeping track of my kids in a crowd. I can’t afford the $40 route and the cheaper route would guarantee me to have 4 crying kids at the carnival because they wanted more rides. I hoped to dodge the whole issue. I hoped that somehow Link would miss the information about the carnival. No such luck, they put up big colorful posters all over the school. Link fell in love and had his hopes set on going to the Carnival. He plotted and schemed on the way home today trying to figure out how to make it happen. So now I am mad at the PTA for putting on a big, expensive, shiny, show; then pricing it so high that I can’t afford to take my kids to it. Mostly I’m mad because my little boy was sad. Fortunately Link is a very resiliant person and once we talked things through, he accepted non-attendance at the carnival and will move on happily to other points of anticipation.
End Rant.

The good news is that having survived the pre-soccer-game chaos, the rest of the evening has gone smoothly. I’ve just got Link and Kiki to put to bed and then I’ll have some time to myself. I’ll probably spend it falling asleep the minute I can sit still.

Fill up update

A little more than a week ago I set some goals for myself. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sandratayler/101231.html) I’m pleased to report that I’ve done a pretty good job of sticking to them. Not as much of the writing ended up in here as I expected, but that’s okay because at least it is getting done. One of the differences I’ve noticed is that I’m much more reluctant to pick up books to read. I don’t want to fill my head with someone else’s story when I have my own stories that can be using the space to grow. I think I’ve been less stressed this past week or more, but the schedule has been so busy that it is kind of hard for me to tell.

Howard left for Linucon this morning. I intended to get up with him and visit while he was preparing for departure. I remember him rolling out of bed to take a shower, then he woke me up to say goodbye because it was time for him to walk out the door. I needed the sleep, but I miss him when he’s not here to talk to. Even more so now that he’s home all day.

Well, I’m off to take Gleek to preschool and Patches off to run multiple errands. Whee.