I started this morning with a whole day ahead of me and a concise list of things to do with it. Now it is 10 pm, I still have the list, but the day is all gone.
I think mostly the culprit is not enough sleep. I have to get to bed on time so tomorrow won’t sneak away from me.
G’night all.
Over the summer I’ve grown kind of tired of hearing about the Hollywood movie slump. Then this fall a survey came out which indicated that the major reason that people aren’t going to the theater is that the movies just don’t interest them enough. Big surprise.
I’ve formed a personal theory about entertainment trends. I think Americans are more interested in long story arcs and character development than they used to be. The movies that were huge sucesses in the past few years were all movies that stood alone, but were also part of a larger story. Lord of the Rings, Spiderman, X-men, Star Wars, I’m sure there are more, but they’ve slipped my mind at the moment. TV has also trended this way. Sit coms with their static characters are not as interesting as dramas with arching storylines. Shows like Lost and 24 take this even farther where each episode is only a fragment of a larger story.
I personally like this trend that I’m seeing. I like seeing characters develop and grow. I like story writing that shifts in response to character growth. It’s one of the reasons I like reading Schlock Mercenary, which incidentally fits right in with this trend.
So, am I seeing something that isn’t there? Are there movies/shows that uphold my theory? Are there movies/shows that disprove it? What do you think?
Link has planned his future. When he grows up he is going to be a gadgeteer and a game maker and a movie maker and a soccer player. He’ll be all these things in rotation, but every fifth week he’ll take a break and just play.
My response to this solemn declaration? “Wow Link, that sounds like fun!”
I just got back from my county health department. Both Gleek and Patches were WAY overdue for immunizations. Gleek got 5 shots and was a very brave little girl about it. Patches, who got 6 shots, screamed and had to be restrained. It took far longer than I expected or wanted it to. I’m an emotional mess because watching my children be injected with possibly harmful liquids does not make me happy.
I wrote in detail about immunizations last year: (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sandratayler/2004/10/07/) I’m too tired to think that coherently today. Today I gave in to health department reasoning and pressure and had both of my little ones given the pertussis vaccination. Apparently incidences of pertussis are on the rise. They also got varicella which is one I’ve never had to deal with before. Whee.
Today I got to play games. A friend had a newly acquired game called Betrayal at the House on the Hill, so he brought it over so that we could all play it. It was fascinating. The opening part of the game has players exploring a haunted house, finding items (both good and bad), and setting up the gameboard. Then the haunting begins and one of the players becomes transformed into a monster. At that point the remaining players are given a set of objectives unknown to the monster. The monster has a different set of objectives unknown to the players. The first one to achieve objectives wins. It was like the best role playing because the story unfolded as we played. I got so wrapped up in the game play that I almost forgot to pick up Link from school.
Since we were playing games we decided to give a second game a chance. It was called Shadows Over Camalot. It was complex, but I loved the way that all the players work cooperatively to try to beat the forces of evil. Link got involved and once Kiki got home so did she(I set a timer to remind me to pick her up).
Now the games are all over and I’m left wanting more. I loved being able to tune out the world and play with people who were just as interested as I was. Fortunately I knew the gaming session was coming far enough in advance that I was able to rent movies to keep Gleek and Patches happy. Unfortunately neither of these games is cheap, and as much as I’d like to, I won’t be able to afford them anytime soon.
Well, I’ve survived my first encounter with a youth soccer game. I have to admit that there were good things about it. I want so much for Link to have a positive experience because I’m so afraid that he won’t. Link finished the game tired and a little frustrated because he didn’t get to kick the ball much and he didn’t get to score a goal. I was ready to try to encourage and coax and praise when I realized that Link needs the same treatment I’ve been trying to provide for Kiki. If Link has a lousy soccer game and decides to hate soccer, then I need to let him feel that way. Trying to talk someone out of feeling upset is never very successful, all you can do is explain in detail why they shouldn’t feel the way that they are feeling. Then they feel dumb as well as upset.
Link’s frustrations were mild. I think by the time soccer practice rolls around he’ll be ready to play again. Time will tell if this interest will last or whether he’ll decide that he’d rather do something else.
My job as a parent is not to make sure he has a good experience. My job is to help him deal with whatever experience he has.
Sharing stories and talking with friends is something with which I am comfortable. Telling stories about my life to strangers is something that makes me uncomfortable. My continuing ambivalence toward the existence of this journal is because it falls under both categories. These past few weeks have been full of events and stories, but few of them have made it into here. Partly that is because I’ve been busy. By the time I have a quiet moment to sit down and type my brain says “Enough!” and goes to sleep.
I want to fill my journal with fun stories and profound thoughts. I want to write about things that I’ll be glad/nostalgic to read about years from now. Lately trying to produce that kind of material has been hard. I hope it is just a product of the “settling in” phase of the school year rather than a longer term result of schedule shift.
After this weekend’s big influx of relatives September’s busiest week will be over. Next weekend is a father/son campout. The weekend after that I’m considering letting Kiki have a video party with some of her school friends. She needs out-of-school events to cement those friendships. Then September 30 is the opening of Serenity. Howard and I will be wanting to go to that. Add to all those events soccer games every thursday and Saturday. Soccer Practices every Monday. Cub Scouts every Wednesday. Kiki’s activity days every other Tuesday. Every day has stuff written on it. No wonder I’m not journaling as much. No wonder I’m tired and the housework isn’t getting done the way it should.
Speaking of which I need to go mop my kitchen floor or else my relatives will all have to extend their visits until they can get unstuck.
I’ve got mice skittering in my walls again. This is shaping up to be an annual fall annoyance. Grr.
The trip began with chanting “Chuck E Cheese! Chuck E Cheese!” but by the time we were 5 minutes on the road Kiki had arranged a chorus of sorts:
Link — “Chuck E Cheese! Chuck E Cheese!”
Gleek — “I love Chuck E Cheese! I love Chuck E Cheese!”
Kiki — “Chuck E Cheese is Fun Fun Fun! Chuck E Cheese is Fun Fun Fun!”
Fortunately the drive was a short one.
This outing to Chuck E Cheese was part of the package of delights for the summer that was promised in lieu of the expensive family camp that we could no longer afford. We kept putting off the Chuck E Cheese trip because the contemplation thereof made neither me, nor Howard, nor my budget very happy. Last week Link sat up and gasped “We forgot to do Chuck E Cheese this summer!” his eyes began to water and I knew this was a promise I really needed to make good on. Noon on Labor day is probably one of the most crowded days and times I could have picked, but Chuck E Cheese has free kiddie rides from 11 am to 1 pm and all the other days of this week the older kids are in school at that time.
On the way into the store Kiki spotted a “help wanted” sign and her eyes lit up. “Mom! You could get a job at Chuck E Cheese!” My rational explanation about already having a job and the costs of childcare did nothing to quell her enthusiasm. She could think of nothing cooler than having a mom who worked at Chuck E Cheese. Even contemplating that makes me shudder.
We got inside and got settled. Patches loved the kiddie rides. In fact he spent the entire hour running from kiddie car to kiddie plane to kiddie dinosaur punching buttons and making things go. That was nice for me because I could just sit in one place and keep an eye on him. Gleek loved the rides and the giant playset. She didn’t clue into the token games until after she ate some pizza, she then happily used tokens and brought me tickets. I pretty much let Kiki and Link have the run of the place. I insured that they would check back in regularly by only dispensing a few tokens at a time. Kiki has reached the age where she still loves Chuck E Cheese, but because she’s older she isn’t sure that she is supposed to anymore. She solved this dilemma by maximizing her ticket acquisition for each game she played. She got to play a lot of games because Patches didn’t use any of his share of the tokens. She really really wanted to bring home cotton candy which she assured me was because she wanted the other kids to have a chance to try it. She succeeded.
The total cost came to $7 per person, which is a little steep for an hour’s entertainment, lunch, a few trinkets, and a bag of cotton candy. It definitely isn’t something we can afford to do often, but as a once-a-year treat we’re okay.
Kiki is much like Anne from Anne of Green Gables. Everything is either horrible or wonderful, and she always uses extravagant language to describe exactly how wonderful or horrible things are. Her frequent (but thankfully short-lived) emotional crises rarely come at convenient times. I get frustrated because I know that this horrible situation that is unbearable to Kiki will completely evaporate into a non-problem very shortly. I just want to skip the emotional wrangle and get to the non-problem part. Because of this I’ve been looking at these emotional upsets as problems to be solved.
Not long ago Kiki was all worked up over some minor (to me) issue and wouldn’t let it go. She was so hyper-focused on the problem that it made anything else impossible. She stomped off to her room and slammed the door. I stayed in the kitchen fuming. Howard wandered in and I began to spill my frustration into his ears. I can’t remember the exact wording of what Howard said next, but he adroitly pointed out that I was as hyperfocused on Kiki’s emotional upset as she had been on the minor issue. My daughter was like me, or I am like her. I hadn’t even seen that before. We both hyperfocus and then manage to step back, see things differently, then solve the problem.
That insight sat in my brain for a week or so. Then last night Kiki had an emotional upheaval about her new school and the amount of homework she is getting and she doesn’t like having to raise her hand to be excused for lunch, and the new school’s playground has gotten boring and she is stupid in math and everyone in the whole school can type faster than she can and she wants to go back to her old school and why can’t she just go watch Daddy playing starcraft. As she presented each subject of her upset I was in full problem solving mode. I wanted to grab each concern and hang onto it until it was solved. But I just start to get a grip on a subject when she would shift. It felt a lot like being caught in a whirlwind. On the last point I consented just to have a little peace. She went to watch Daddy and I sat in the kitchen trying to regain my equilibrium. When I’d achieved calm inside my head, insight hit. When Kiki is upset she doesn’t need me to solve anything, she needs me to listen to everything. She finds her own solutions once she has calmed down, but she needs validation that she isn’t unbalanced or unnatural for having the feelings she does. My efforts to help were making the emotions worse.
I’ve been reading Anne of Green Gables aloud to Kiki at bedtime lately. I haven’t yet mentioned to Kiki how much like Anne she seems. I want to wait until we’ve reached the end and Anne has grown from a scatterbrained, imaginative child into a self confident, competant young adult. Kiki needs to be able to picture that future for herself. As for me I’m grateful to L. M. Montgomery for new insights into my daughter.