Sandra Tayler

Patches has recently gone through one of those developmental leaps. The ones where suddenly your kids is doing a bunch of stuff he wasn’t even capable of yesterday. The fascination with the garbage can seems to have waned (Yay!) to be replaced by a fascination with climbing on top of the table to forage. He’s started luring me to the pantry to point at the cheerios. He’ll hand me a cup and shove me toward the fridge. No chance of this kid starving, if I haven’t fed him recently enough he lets me know.

He’s also begun carrying cars with him wherever he goes. They roll on just about any available surface and go “vrrrrrrr” Where did he learn that? Perhaps is observational, he certainly lights up for any kind of engine noise. We live in a cul-de-sac with no less than three deisel trucks and any time he hears one of those things arrive or leave he runs to the front window to watch. We watch helicopters and planes too. In fact, he’ll hear them and start looking for them before I even notice that there is a noise.

He can point to 6 or 7 body parts, he knows how to say night night, blow kisses, give kisses, and hugs all on command. He can follow one step commands. He loves shoes. If he finds shoes they have to go on his feet even if they don’t belong to him. Watching him try to walk in Daddy’s boots is hilarious. Mostly he falls over.

He loves snuggles and has the biggest happiest grin in the world. Now I’ve made myself all teary and I want to go hug him. But I won’t cause he’s sleeping. Plenty of hugging time in the morning.

Today I had to give Patches an emergency bath because Gleek had peanutbuttered him. (gloppy layer, all over) Since I didn’t want to reward this behavior I refused to allow Gleek to join him in the tub. She sat on the toilet and watched. Then she very deliberately took a roll of toilet paper and threw it into the bathtub. I was livid. I came down on her like a ton of bricks, finally at the end of the tirade I wound up with the words “Why would you do a thing like that?”

Teery little eyes looked into mine and a small sad voice answered “I wanted to make it clean.”

I am reminded once again that adult motivations do not easily apply to children. She had no idea what happens when toilet paper gets wet. One of these days it’ll stick in my skull and I’ll stop scolding kids for the wrong things.

I sometimes wonder why on earth I got handed a life so full of blessings. I came from a wonderful stable home. I have great parents. I don’t fight with my siblings. I found a soulmate and got married when I wasn’t even looking for one. I’ve had kids exactly when I wanted to and didn’t have them when I didn’t. (Yes that’s right, four kids on purpose.) I did have a couple of years needing fairly major medical intervention, but I’m beyond that now and my health is really good.

Why should I have so much when others suffer so much? A good friend and I had a conversation about this. Her life has been quite different from mine. Her belief is that there have to be people who have lives like mine so that everyone else can know what to work for. That doesn’t quite seem right to me. It doesn’t seem to even out the unfairness any. But then when was life ever fair?

What I think is that it doesn’t matter what cards you are given. What matters is what you choose to do with the cards. I’ve been dealt a really good hand. That means I have a great responsibility to give to others. Every blessing I have, I need to share. This means I need to stretch myself more. I cannot help others if I don’t know who they are or what they need.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

Important:  Please do not post spoilers for Season Seven.  I haven’t seen that one yet.

Howard and I just finished Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Six.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Highlights:

Once More With Feeling was amazing.  I think that is the best musical production I have ever seen.  It was wonderful to see the writers and the cast try their abilities at something so different and see them succeed so well.

The wedding break-up made me sick to my stomach.  Bad Xander.

The development of  The Trio as villains was a fascinating character study.  Particularly of Warren.  We get to watch him move from petty and amusing through stages all the way to an evil doer of evil deeds. 

Evil Willow rocked.  She was scary and powerful.  She had me on the edge of my seat.  “Bored now.”  Very evil.  I’m not sure how Willow the person is going to be able to come to terms with what she became and what she did.

The Buffy and Spike relationship was also fascinating to watch.  I confess that I’ve always loved the Spike character and I really felt his pain in season 5.  What I emotionally wanted to have happen was that Spike’s feelings for Buffy to ennoble him, redeem him somehow.  Instead the relationship with Spike only created confusion and pain for both of them.  A much more realistic result considering the people involved.  Then things bottomed out and now it looks like I could yet see the redemption of Spike in season 7.  That’d be nice.

Anyway, those are the highlights of my thoughts on Buffy Season 6.  I’m looking forward to the conclusion of the series.

The most intense experience I had during my week of vacation was the “High Ropes Course”. This is a 15-20 foot long log with notches in it hanging from a chain that you climb(Yes it swings while you are climbing). At the top of the log you switch to a rock climbing wall with itty bitty little plastic rocks to acend another 20 feet or so. Once you’ve achieved the wooden platform 40 feet off the ground you take to the wires. These are 1 inch thick wires strung 50 to 100 feet between trees. One wire for hanging onto, one wire for walking on. After a circuit of wire walking you arrive back at the wooden platform where you rappel down the climbing wall and the empty space below it.

I actually did all of that. I still wonder why. It was definitely interesting from an introspective psychological standpoint. I KNEW it was going to be a terrifying experience. I knew that before I started. Yet I wanted to do it. To face my fears I guess. Perhaps to prove that I am stronger than my fear. That’s the answer that pleases me. The answer that I want to believe. Maybe it is even the right answer.

During the experience there was a definite split between my animal brain and my logical one. I was wearing a climbing harness with double safety the entire time. During the climbing and rappelling there was a staff member on a belay line who could have hoisted me with no effort on my part. Logically I knew I couldn’t fall. Despite that, I was terrified throughout the entire experience. In order to not be frozen by the fear I had to concentrate on movements. Specifically the NEXT movement. Hand. Foot. Breathe.

When I arrived back on the ground my first reaction was “I’m NEVER doing that again!” Ten minutes later I was reconsidering. I’m curious. Now that my adrenal system has figured out that I survived what looked like a deadly situation would I be as scared the next time? Part of me wants to know. Part of me doesn’t want to be that scared again.

Howard took pictures and video. I saw them later. They are far too short. Surely it took longer than that for me to climb. And why doesn’t the fear I felt show in the motions or expressions? I’d post a picture or two if I knew how, but as far as I’m concerned they don’t accurately represent the experience.

I’m very glad I went through the course. I’m glad to know that in a faux do-or-die situation, I did it. The doing is enough, I don’t need to buy the t-shirt.