business

Stuff to do in the month of May

Today I will see Iron Man 2. It will be full of shiny explosions and not much to think about. This is good because my brain is ready for something not particularly thinky.

Balticon booth preparation: I need to ship merchandise to Balticon so that Howard has things to sell. At the end of the month I’ll have to help Howard pack so that he can go.

Balticon Art Show preparation: They’ve given Howard eight panels in the art show. This was at first a dismayingly large number. We could wallpaper a room with all the strips he has done, but that doesn’t look eye-catching in an art show. Fortunately I’ve communicated with the art show director and found a solution. We’ll be putting together the panels as something akin to a museum exhibit. There will be pictures of Howard’s workspaces, explanations of his process. We’ll also discuss the process I go through to ship out books and how the books layout is done. A whole panel will be devoted to the XDM project. Hopefully it will be educational and interesting. But I’ve got lots of work to do to get it ready and I have to mail it all to Baltimore by the end of next week.

The Quest for the Tavern: This is an XDM adventure module. Tracy has already finished a draft of the text. I’ve got to do preliminary layout so that Howard can see where the pictures need to go. Then I have to put in the pictures. There also needs to be lots of copy editing and probable text revisions. The whole process needs to be complete by the end of May so that the thing can go to print.

RMS pre-orders: We’ll be opening pre-orders toward the end of this month. Before we can do that, I need to line up t-shirt reprints and magnet re-prints, and poster re-prints. We want all of these things available in the store so that people can buy lots of stuff and combine shipping. But it means hours of prep time getting the store ready to go.

Conduit: I’m listed on the website. I expect to be doing presentations and panels. I’ll need to prepare and to schedule myself so that I can be where I need to be.

Family stuff: The end of school brings a multitude of closing activities. There are a school carnival, field day, dances, birthday parties, mother’s day programs, and end of school homework projects.

Writing: Hah. I want there to be writing. I’m just not sure where I can possibly fit it in.

Anxiety Under Stress

The first day of Penguicon was fantastic. I spent the entire day having fascinating conversations with amazing people. Then I climbed into bed and my brain kept running for an hour, trying to sort everything. Just as I drifted off to sleep I snapped awake with an overload of mommy guilt. It only lasted for a few minutes, but during those minutes I was shaky and almost in tears. It was focused on being away from the kids, but it was really the result of too much input and not enough down time.

I was similarly shaky at the end of the convention. We were all packed and sitting at the restaurant, waiting for time to depart to the airport. A very perceptive friend asked if I was okay. I wasn’t really. I was holding on to calm and repressing the person in the back of my brain who wanted to curl into a ball and cry. Again it was the result of too much input and too little processing time. But I did not want to miss even a moment of visiting with friends whom I see far too seldom.

Last night I snapped awake at 1 am in a panic because I have not yet shipped things to GenCon. I have three months until GenCon. There is plenty of time to ship books there. But it took me several minutes to claw my way in to sufficient consciousness to remember that fact. The real problem is that I have an overload of things to do and most of them are both urgent and important. So instead of taking a couple of days to unpack and re-organize after Penguicon, I am trying to dive straight into all of the things to do. So far it is not working well. I’m getting things done, but it is all stressy and fragmented. If I can get myself focused I can dig out from under. But it is hard to become focused with so much looming.

The result is a latent anxiety waiting to pounce upon me. It is stress manifesting as fear. Fretting out all the details of what will happen if I fail is not nearly so useful as just getting stuff done so that I won’t fail. Also, the thinking in circles is made of unhelpful.

The good news is that my head is getting steadily clearer. I’m actually being able to blog some of the Penguicon stuff to get it out of my head. The luggage has been unpacked and stowed. I’m starting to wrap my head around the at home things. As I do, the anxiety subsides and I see that I really can do this.

Finance for Freelancers

While at Penguicon I moderated a panel called “Finance for Freelancers” with co-panelists Tobias Buckell and Catherine Shaffer. I wasn’t intending to moderate, but I was foolish enough to be the first one to ask who would be the moderator. Having everyone introduce themselves and tell why they became freelancers gave me just enough time to scribble a few notes so I could direct the discussion.

I feel like the whole thing went very well, due in large part to the wealth of experience that Toby and Catherine were able to share. It is a joy to moderate a panel of competent people who know how to make their points concisely. I learned some things and I felt like we shared useful information with the audience. I wish I had a transcript to post, but I can remember a few highlights. What follows is loosely connected notes from the panel:

The insecurity of not having a paycheck: All three of us agreed that the idea of freelancing sounded really scary when we were at the beginning of it, but that after doing it for a few years we all feel more secure in our incomes than we did before. This security comes as the result of having many different sources for income. When one contract dries up, the others carry you until you can pick up another contract to fill the financial gap. Both Catherine and Toby talked about having the ability to stop working for people who are difficult and how that contributes to contentment.

Health insurance: Toby gets insurance through his wife. Catherine has been getting it through her husband, but is considering cutting free of that. Like freelancing, the idea of searching for health insurance is scary, but once you get into it the fear goes away and it is merely expensive. Toby made the point that the price of health care needs to be calculated on top of what you need to pay your bills. This is part of the calculation you make to figure out how much money you need to bring in as a freelancer to make ends meet.

Organization: I spoke a little about organizing time. I have an assigned accounting day once per week where I look at my accounts. During the early years there were some weeks when I merely glanced because there wasn’t anything else to do, but I still kept the accounting appointment. We all talked about how it is important to keep the business accounts separate from the personal accounts. There was some variance about when a freelancer should incorporate, but Catherine quoted a $40,000 per year figure after which it is really to your financial advantage to be incorporated. Catherine uses a free financial management program to track her money (I can’t remember the name.) I use Quicken/Quickbooks. Toby uses Excel. All of us stated the importance of being able to do reports based on the financial numbers so that the freelancer can see where money is coming from and make good predictions for the next few months or years.

An additional note on organization: I think this point was made in a different panel, but it fits here. Creative people often have a learned helplessness when it comes to business organization. They don’t like thinking about numbers and they tell themselves that they can’t do it. Business thinking and financial organization can be learned. I taught it to myself. Over years of practice I got pretty good at it. Organization can be learned. Good financial record keeping can be learned. These things can be just as much a habit as putting on pants in the morning.

I know there was other good information in the panel. I may add it as I think about it. I’ll reiterate what I said in the panel, if you’re considering being a freelancer, you should check out Toby’s blog. He talks about this stuff and does seriously useful number crunching.

Post-Con Crash Day

Prior to Penguicon I wrote tasks on my to do list for today. This was foolish. Apparently pushing myself to the point of shaky fatigue at the con, followed by hours of plane travel, followed by a short night’s sleep, followed by six hours of driving split into two pieces, followed by a poor night’s sleep, all of it turns today into a crash day instead of a productive one. I know I’m in a crash day when I’m walking up the stairs and part of my brain tells me that we should just lay down on them instead.

I did have a brief spurt of energy for one hour. During that time I went through all my indexed notes and assembled a massive list of things to do. I’m reasonably certain I’ve now collected all of it into one place. This is important because many of those things have deadlines this week. All those things I did not have to worry about until May are now looming large.

I want to drift and relax and recover, but I’m not sure I’ll get to do any of that between now and July when we ship out books.

Writing Excuses: Living with the Artist

Two weeks ago we gathered me, Dawn Wells, and Kenny Pike together to record a podcast where we talk about living with an artist/author. That podcast went live yesterday. You can listen to it here:

Writing Excuses 4.17: Living with the Artist

It was so much fun to record and I feel like we barely scratched the surface of the issues. Everyone should go listen and beg for more so I get to hang out with the Writing Excuses spouses again.

Staying home from an event

Soft footsteps padded across my bedroom carpet. Then the bed bounced as a small body rebounded off the side and under the covers. Patch wriggled his way into his favorite snuggle spot and we all drifted back to sleep for awhile.

Howard’s morning playlist sounded off at the usual time, waking all of us. Usually we turn the alarm off on Saturdays, but Howard had to give a presentation at the LDS Storymakers Writing Conference. He would be gone all day and we planned for me to join him at the awards gala in the evening. I looked forward to it. I do not get many chances to dress formally and go out. Not to mention I love the people who are there. It was so much fun staying out late the night before to visit with them all. The kids had a movie fest in my absence and I put them to bed when I got home.

Patch and I snuggled under the covers while Howard got up to shower.

“Did you have fun last night?” I asked Patch.

He smiled “Yes. We watched three Scooby Doo shows.” He then proceeded to give me a detailed description of each plot. I did not interrupt his flow of chatter. Sometimes Patch just needs to talk until his head is empty. I know the feeling. I do the same thing. I did not really listen to the plots. I was too busy watching Patch. Next Wednesday we’ll be separating for four days. Howard and I have a convention and the kids are staying with relatives. They’ll have a good time and so will we, but being away is still hard on the youngest of my kids. Patch’s eyes were alive with excitement and the gap in his front teeth gave a slight lisp to his speech. He’s not the baby he once was.

The stories wound down and we snuggled under the covers in silence for a few minutes. The house is chilly since we’ve turned off the heat and opened windows for cool spring air.

“So next week you get to stay with your cousins.” I said.

Patch’s face lit up and then his forehead crinkled. “I’m going to miss you mom.”

“I know. That part is hard. But you’re going to have fun.”

He nods, but then wraps my arms around him and snuggles closer.

“Hey buddy. Dad and I were planning on me going with him to a dinner tonight. You would get to have another fun movie night. How would you feel about that?”

Patch was silent for a moment, then answered “I’d rather have you home mom.”

“You want your normal bedtime with me here?”

“Yeah.”

I think of the beautiful dress I planned to wear. I think of the friends with whom I could visit. I think of how over-tired the kids were last night and the likely crankiness that I’ll have to deal with today. The morning following had church. Kids up late for two nights in a row guarantees Sunday morning meltdowns. I look into my boy’s blue eyes and know that being home for him and his siblings is more important. I need to give them two days of uninterrupted mom-at-home time this weekend so that we’re all ready for next week.

“Okay, I’ll stay home.”

The further I got into the day, the more sure I was that the decision was right. Sometimes the business things need to bend to the family things.

Getting Excited for Penguicon

In a little more than two weeks Howard and I are Michigan bound to attend Penguicon. I’m looking forward to the trip, both as a chance to visit with online friends and to get away from my regular round of things to do. It will be exhausting, conventions always are, but the company is going to be excellent.

Going to Penguicon with Howard will be an interesting closing-of-the-circle for me. We went together in 2004 when Howard was only a part-time cartoonist. At the time I was in the habit of describing Howard as a sieve I sent out into the world to net good friends for us. He would bring back the good ones and introduce them to me. The system felt very secure. I was safe and I still got to meet cool new people. The flaws of the system were made apparent at Penguicon. We arrived and Howard carefully introduced me to his local friends in the early hours of the convention, but everyone he knew was either on the convention committee or part of programming. Once the convention was in full swing they were all very busy. I ended up adrift and discovered that I had no idea how to meet people and make conversation without Howard standing beside me. The temptation to hide in my hotel room and cry was nearly over-powering. Somehow I found the courage to confess to Howard how lost I felt. He rescued me and a kind local woman guided me through the rest of that day. I got into the swing of things and had a great time. But I came home determined to acquire the skills I lacked.

I have changed a lot in the past six years. Already I know that Penguicon is going to be a very different experience. I will have my own circle of friends rather than gaining entrance to Howard’s circle by being his wife. The fact that most of the people in my circle are also part of Howard’s circle is pleasant, but not necessary. I’ve also gained a lot of expertise. This time around I’ll be on programming for some of the panels and I’ll be running a table to sell books that I helped create. It will be a good time.

Kid perspectives on what we do

I was carrying five large boxes to the curb one at a time. They were full of books which are getting shipped to Penguicon in Michigan. (Howard and I will be there in three weeks. Stop by if you’re in the vicinity.) As I was making the trips in and out of my house, I became aware of Gleek talking to the neighbor’s babysitter.

“Oh yes.” Said Gleek “Those are full of books. Our fans buy them.”

My mind stuttered to a halt to hear Gleek talking about “our fans.” I sometimes feel self-conscious talking about fans, because really they are fans of Howard and the comic strip. And they only belong to the category by choosing it, they don’t even belong to Howard. To have a fan is to have a gift, it bestows (limited) obligation, not ownership rights. But then I remembered that it we talk about our house, our car, and our food. These things become the communal property of the family even though Howard and I are the ones who pay for them. It makes sense for Gleek to generalize the source of our income. However my kids definitely have a very different perspective on where money comes from than the one I grew up with.

Frazzled Today, better tomorrow

I have achieved frazzled. I’ve actually been there ever since yesterday afternoon when I got an email reminding me of some artwork we had promised to a convention which I had then forgotten to actually supply. Fortunately we had plenty of art to hand off to them and the problem is now solved, but the jitters have remained.

Howard has kicked into high gear, and is thus thinking 10 miles per minute. He’s drawing that fast too. The last pieces are coming together. The tweaks we’re making on the book now are the ones which most people wouldn’t notice, but which are the difference between good and amazing. The last of the margin art is going in today. A few things remain to be colored.

But then there are the other pieces. The loose business pieces in several flavors of new that I also have to wrap my head around far enough that they get filed rather than lost.

And through it all, the kids tromp and play and want food. That is my day. By tomorrow the sun will come out both literally and figuratively.

Longshoreman of the Apocalypse Nominated for a Hugo

Schlock Mercenary: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse has been nominated for a Hugo in the category “Best Graphic Story.” Howard and I are both very excited. Howard will be going to Australia to participate and pick up his shiny nomination pin. We’re not sure yet about the extent of his stay, but he’ll definitely try to do some signings outside of the convention. The kids and I will be staying home, but we are not forlorn. We have tickets to the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival. We told the kids both bits of news at the same time. The part about “Daddy’s going to Australia cause he was nominated for a Hugo” was met with smiles. The part about going to the festival was met with outright glee. It is good to know where the kid priorities lay.