conventions

Storymakers Day 2, the Whitney Awards, Retiring a Dress, and the Day After

By / May 6, 2012 / 2 Comments

Howard is out of his element at the Storymakers conference. It is an event full of women, many of whom read and write stories that are essentially romantic. I’m not precisely in my element, but in many ways it is a better fit for me than the average Science Fiction convention. On the whole these are readers of Austen, not Niven, though there are definitely individual exceptions. Not that “fitting” matters because we always find wonderful people at these events. I guess the difference is that I’ve walked away from Storymakers with a long list of follow-up items–people to contact, things to do–where Howard is spending today switching gears. Tomorrow I’ll be following up and he’ll be moving on. Although that may have more to do with me being the business manager and him being the artist. Perhaps the whole perception is entirely imaginary, a result of me being very tired.

The extreme fatigue hit me right after I finished my last teaching hour. The cover design class went very well. We covered the important material and were able to give intelligent answers to all the questions. I’d love to co-teach with Crystal again anytime. I’d love to teach that class again. In fact I have a whole list of classes that I want to be able to teach. I’m going to blog that list (possibly tomorrow) so that I can reference it as necessary. Often I’m invited to participate in programming only to draw a complete memory blank when they ask what I’d like to teach. If I file the list intelligently, in an easy-to-find location, then perhaps it will someday be useful to someone who is considering inviting me to an event. If nothing else, making the list will convince the back part of my brain that we really are allowed to think about something else now. On the same theory, I’ve made a list of things-to-blog. In making that list, I realized that I still have thoughts left over from our trip to Moab. It has been an exceedingly brain-busy three weeks.

At the end of the Storymakers conference, I attended the Whitney Award banquet with my mom. Howard volunteered to go home and be with the kids so that we could stay. I wore my orange dress, the one I last wore to the Hugo award ceremony in August. I was a little worried about wearing the dress, the night of the Hugos was not my best night. I knew that wearing the dress might trigger somatic memory, particularly since I was wearing it to another award ceremony. I did not want another panic attack like the one at the Hugos, but I needed to wear the dress again. I needed to see if I could disconnect the panic from the dress. The Whitneys were a good practice event because they are much less emotionally fraught for me than the Hugos, we were not eligible for any of the awards. Also, I had a change of clothes in my car, so in the very worst case I could duck out and change. The trouble with the dress is that it fits tightly across my ribs. It does not actually constrict my breathing, I can fill my lungs completely, but it feels like it constricts. Constrictive clothing can magnify or trigger a panic attack. Additionally, the fabric of the dress does not breathe at all and so in a warm room I can easily feel over heated. Over heating can magnify or trigger a panic attack. It turns out that this lovely dress is at least partially at fault for my Hugo experience. I put on the dress and was fine. I walked down to dinner and felt completely relaxed. I sat down to dinner and I had to arrange my thoughts carefully and breathe cautiously for about 30 minutes while my body toyed with the first edges of a panic attack. I prevailed. I wore the dress all evening, had a lovely dinner conversation, hugged all my friends in the post-ceremony mingling, and went home feeling triumphant. However it is time for me to retire that dress. The things I love about it do not outweigh the drawbacks. Fortunately I have something much more comfortable that I can wear to the Nebula award dinner.

My mother reports that she thoroughly enjoyed the Storymakers conference. She has dozens of ideas about how to improve her book and an invitation to submit directly to one of the editors who also attended. I’m so glad that she was able to come. I get to have her for three more days before she returns home to care for my grandma, who will be released from the hospital soon. This is mom’s last vacation for awhile because grandma will need lots of loving attention as she continues to mend. Once again I wish I could be more help. I live so far away from them. But at the least I can give my mom this vacation she has earned.

Tomorrow, after I scramble to catch up on all my work, I’m headed to The Avengers with my kids. I’ve heard it is quite good. Howard has already seen it twice. Today I rest.

Storymakers Conference Day 1

By / May 4, 2012 / 1 Comment

Fragments of thoughts bounce around in my brain, but they are slippery – like fish. Just as I think I’ve got a grip on one that might be the beginning of a coherent blog post, my hands close on nothing and I’m left with a blankness which I’m sure was filled with brilliance only a minute ago. (Obviously my thought fish are brightly colored koi.) I shall stop trying to catch them and instead just follow where they swim.

I’ve spent the day at Storymakers Conference. I taught a class solo, using only my voice to convey information about managing finances. Only when the class was over did I realize that we’d been using powerpoint lighting instead of the bright light which was available. In hindsight I’m glad. The dimmer light was more soothing and perhaps made the contemplation of accounting feel less daunting. At some point accounting stopped daunting me. I wonder when that happened.

I was nervous before the presentation, but not during it. Once the words begin to flow, I’m solid and know exactly what to say. Sometimes it ends up being things that I didn’t put into my speaker notes. But the best moment of any presentation is when I say something and I see one of the faces in front of me change. In that moment I know that whatever my words were, they were exactly what they needed to be. A lecture on accounting is short on emotional bonding moments, but hopefully filled with usefulness.

As I walked the halls of the conference, I saw dozens of familiar faces. As I scanned badges I saw dozens of familiar names. This year I’m making an extra effort to attach the names and faces to each other. I’m trying to imprint them into my tired brain so that I’ll be able to recall them when I meet these people again in a context sans name badges. There are so many marvelous people. I want to sit down and talk with all of them for hours. I suppose this is why I spent a large portion of my day sitting in the green room. People filtered in and out and I got to have quick conversations with many of them.

The mass signing was a dismaying event at first, a room packed with tables and people. Gradually they sorted themselves into seated authors and standing attendees. Though often authors would jump up and stand in line to get their books signed. My spot in the room was unfortunately poorly suited for people watching, but I had excellent neighbors. One attendee sought me out with Cobble Stones in hand for me to sign. Another viewed Hold on to Your Horses with such awe, that it revived in me my own love of the book and made me want to finally finish writing the follow up book. More thoughts on that are necessary. I’ve also emerged from today’s conversations with three places to query and a reminder that a friend really would like me to write an article for the magazine where he works. I was also able to gift copies of Cobble Stones to a pair of book bloggers, and they lit up with delight at the gift. Being able to end the day with concrete evidence that my presence improved someone else’s day, that’s a good thing.

And all the thoughts have darted into hiding. Time to sleep now. Another conference day is ahead of me tomorrow.

Cobble Stones, Storymakers Conference, and a Book Signing in Washington D.C.

By / April 30, 2012

One of my March projects was pulling together a sampler book of blog entries. I’ve now got my advance copies and can be reasonably confident that what I’ve got is ready to sell.

If you want to pre-order your copy of Cobble Stones, just click through to our store. I’m taking pre-orders. The books will ship by May 30. I’ll also have the book available in electronic formats, hopefully in a week or two, but that is one of the tasks which fell by the wayside during my office remodel and surprise trip to see Grandma in the hospital.

My advance copies are slated to be on sale at LDS Storymakers this Friday and Saturday. You’ll find them in the conference store sitting right next to Hold on to Your Horses and a pile of Schlock Mercenary books. Even if you’re not registered for the conference, please feel free to drop by for the mass signing from 5-6:30 pm on Friday May 4, in the Provo Marriott hotel (101 West 100 North, Provo) I expect the signing to be chaotic, but it will be packed with interesting authors whose books are worth reading. Howard and I will both be there.

In two weeks Cobble Stones and I will go on the road. We’ll be attending the Nebula Weekend in Washington D.C. and participating in a mass signing there as well. Friday, May 18, 2012 from 5:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City (located at 2799 Jefferson Davis Highway (Route 1), Arlington, Virginia). This signing will be full of authors such as Connie Willis and Joe Haldeman, well worth your time to stop by. I expect to spend most of my time people watching the fans standing in line for other people. Though I’ll have my sister Nancy Fulda for company. I will have copies of Cobble Stones and Hold on to Your Horses available for sale.

Make your plans and come say hello.

The Next Seven Weeks

By / April 9, 2012 / 1 Comment

In the next seven weeks we have:
re-building the shipping system
all the end-of-school activities of which I’ve not yet been notified
advance copies of Sharp End of the Stick (SEOS)
a school art gala
opening pre-orders for SEOS
Kiki’s AP art portfolio
receiving the SEOS shipment
teaching at LDS Storymakers conference
sending me to the Nebula weekend in DC
a time-swap week during which Gleek will pretend to be living in a pre-computer era
sending Howard to World Steam Expo in Ann Arbor
a dance festival
a week long visit from my mom
office remodeling
unspecified child crises which will pop up randomly and inconveniently
field day
preparations for Deep South Con in June

All of those things are important, as are preparations for GenCon and WorldCon. But this week contains the most important event of the entire year. This is when Howard and I gather the kids and flee our work to go do nothing in particular in southern Utah. The only agenda is to be together. Hopefully fun will be had, but even if crankiness is had, that is fine. Uninterrupted time together is the point.

As for the other stuff, I’m not particularly stressed about it all. I can see where everything fits. It is going to be busy, but not crazy. I hope.

The Steps to Setting Up a Howard Tayler Convention Appearance

By / March 5, 2012 / 2 Comments

It begins with an invitation. This usually arrives via email to the Schlock box. I’ll look over the invite to make sure it is legitimate and issued by someone who has authority. I’m likely to google the event in question to determine what sort of an event it is likely to be. Then I’ll check our calendar to see if there is a conflict. If the invitation is less than 9 months before the event, then it is very likely that a conflict will exist. If all checks out, I pass along the invite and my gathered information to Howard.

The decision meeting comes next. This is not an elaborate process. It usually occurs as five minutes in the middle of a wandering conversation. “So you saw that invite from ShinyNewCon?” “Yes. Looks good. Put it on the calendar.” And then we go back to talking about who’ll go to the grocery store.

I email to accept the invitation. In my email I make sure to clarify any of the appearance parameters, because being clear early is very important. We must know that Howard’s travel and hotel will be paid for. This is the point where I begin to adore competent guest liaisons. A good one will give me email and phone contact information along with a list of deadlines for program / badge / tshirt art. Then everything is quiet for a long time.

About two months before the show things pick up. I get in touch with the liaison to make sure everything is in good order. I find out if there are an un-met art requirements. I try to get contact info for the art show if we’re being given panels. I also want contact info for someone in the dealer’s room who is willing to sell Howard’s books on commission. When Howard is being a guest of honor, we don’t want him trapped running a table in the dealer’s room. He should be out and mingling with attendees. I also ask about air travel reservations. All of these questions are useful because Science Fiction conventions are run by volunteers who also have day jobs. They have a million things to keep track of and not much time. My emails serve as good checkpoints for everyone to avoid last minute expense and stress.

Three weeks before the event I begin mailing things. I lay out the art into panels and create detailed instructions. I try to make everything as clear as possible because I know that the volunteers working in the art show are overworked and exhausted. Anything I can do to make the work easier, I try to do. Assembling the panels requires me to dig through piles of art, matte pictures, write up bid sheets and control sheets, etc. I box all the art and instructions then ship them to the Art show address. If I’ve got a dealer’s address and a three week lead time, I’ll send all the books for sale via media mail. It is worlds cheaper.

Two weeks out and one week out, I’ll mail merchandise or art by faster, more expensive, means if this is when I get the addresses. We also make sure that Howard blogs the event. Hopefully we have a panel schedule so that Howard can talk about the details of the event. This is also the period of time when Howard begins to be stressed about the work he wants to get done before leaving. There is always buffer to build or book art to ship.

Two days out, I help Howard pack. Sometimes this happens the day before, but knowing that the packing is done helps with the stress.

Then I put him on a plane and hope that the guest liaison will take good care of him. They usually do. Also he’s gotten much better at judging his own limitations and taking breaks when necessary.

When Howard returns, he has stories to tell. There are always business contacts and possibilities to follow up. The suitcases must be unpacked. And I have to liaise with the art show, the dealer, and the convention to make sure that anything remaining is shipped back to us. There is always post-show accounting. Usually this stage occurs across the top of the preparations for the next convention.

From now until November there is always a next convention.

LTUE Panel notes: Schmoozing 101 / Learning skills for networking, blogging, social media, and self-promotion

By / February 17, 2012 / 11 Comments

In writing up my panel notes for LTUE I become very aware of how much simply can not be conveyed in a text-only medium. This panel was a two-hour interactive lecture run by Mary Robinette Kowal and me. There is real power in a live lecture. It allows a group of people to build a shared context about a topic. A stray comment at the beginning of the panel would be referred to later in a way that would illustrate a point or provoke shared laughter. Trying to capture that would require paragraphs of exposition to describe exactly how tone of voice, facial expression, and body language conveyed a message which is not at all apparent in the words alone. This is particularly true of the segment of lecture where we were discussing body language. Demonstration can show in seconds what description takes a long time to say. All of which illustrates exactly why having in-person meetings with other professionals in your field can be so incredibly valuable. Most of the information here was gleaned from other professionals in conversations both on and offline.

In our presentation Mary and I began by talking about the skills necessary to help these in-person interactions go smoothly. We are both of the opinion that these skills can be learned by anyone at any stage of life. Mary picked up many of them from her mother as a child since her mother worked in a field where schmoozing was necessary. I carefully went out an acquired them when I finally realized that depending upon my husband Howard in all social situations would sometimes leave me floating in deep water without a life preserver. I chose to learn how to make conversation with strangers rather than to stay safe at home. In the second half of the discussion, Mary and I talked about how these same skills translate online and into deliberately self-promotional venues.

Because I can’t properly convey the flow of conversation and story which wrapped around these topics, I’m going to have to resort to a bullet-pointed list. I’ll put in illustrative stories where I can remember them and where I can make them short. I fear this post is doomed to be long. Each section ended with a Q&A session. I don’t have a record of those questions and answers.

Conversations and Introductions

  • Remember that everyone is interesting. More importantly, the person you are talking to is more interesting than you are. Try to make sure that the bulk of a conversation is focused on other people, their interests, their work, etc. The sneaky truth about this is that people love to talk about their interests, which means conversing with you will make them happy and will make them believe you to be interesting. It is perfectly acceptable to try to steer a discussion of the other person’s interests into an area where you can also be interested. IE: If the person you are talking about loves cars and you love design, steer the conversation into the aesthetic design of cars.
  • Have some standard conversation openers. Asking someone where they are from can be too personal, asking them where they arrived from opens up a conversation about travel. If you’re at a shared event like a convention, ask them about panels they’ve seen. Ask them what they’ve been working on lately. Complement an article of clothing such as a watch or jacket. Many of these things have stories attached. As the conversation continues, pay attention to small details which can be used to redirect a conversation or to fill a lull. IE: The person says they got their bracelet in New Mexico, you can jump back to that to mention that you’ve also been to New Mexico and found the weather there stunningly hot, but the landscape gorgeous. And the conversation can continue from there.
  • Rehearsed stories. Just as there are standard conversation openers, there are some fairly standard questions you can expect to be asked. Know what you answers are going to be ahead of time. In particular, be prepared to answer the question “what have you be working on.” (I’ll admit to a massive fail here. I arrived at LTUE, was asked that question and completely blanked on what to say.) It is okay to even prepare an amusing anecdote, just be aware that you may not get to deliver it if the conversation goes a different way. Also be aware that because the same questions get asked over and over, you may find yourself in the uncomfortable situation of not knowing if you’ve already told this story to this group of people.
  • Provide context. It is a great kindness to others if you manage to include in the first few sentences of conversation where you’ve met before and when. “Hi Mary, it is good to see you. I haven’t seen you since Worldcon last August when we talked about wombats.” This provides enough memory tags for Mary to locate the memory of you. Alternately, if Mary does not remember you, it provides enough information for the two of you to have a lovely conversation anyway.
  • Have a change of topic prepared. If you’ve been talking about your own work, be ready to change the topic off of yourself. This is where that attention to the bracelet purchased in New Mexico gives you a chance to redirect the conversation. Being prepared to change the subject means that you are ready to come to the rescue should something awkward happen.
  • Performing introductions. When introducing two people you know, it is a kindness to them to include, along with their names, two pieces of information which either provide context or potential points of common interest.
  • Tag Teaming. Having a wing-man at professional events is incredibly helpful. You can introduce each other, speak glowingly of each other’s work (thus dodging the “don’t talk too much about yourself” stricture), and help each other escape should a social escape become necessary.
  • Promote the work of others. It gives you wonderful topics of conversation. It is a gift to those whose work you’re promoting. It makes you classy.
  • Be yourself. It may take you a while to figure out who “yourself” is in a professional setting, that is okay. The key is to find your own way of relating rather than believing you have to do things the way someone else does.
  • The conversational dismount. This is a close relative to having a change of subject prepared. Be ready to close a conversation and walk away. If the other person does not want the conversation to end, they will ask a question, make a comment, or otherwise extend the conversation. It is better to leave them wanting more. This is particularly true of agents and editors with whom you hope to someday work. Some good dismounts: “It was lovely seeing you, I hope we run into each other again.” “Thank you for your time, I enjoyed talking with you.”

Body Language

This is the section that suffers most from translation to text. Mary used her puppeteer training to explain and demonstrate. I’ll just give some generalized information.

  • Aggressive movement. This is any movement toward something. It can include turning to face something. It indicates engagement or interest.
  • Regressive movement. This is any movement away. It indicates that the person wants to detach or distance.
  • There is also open posture, which indicates engagement and closed posture which indicates disengagement.

The key here is to pay attention to the body expressions of the people you are talking to. If you see regressive movements or closed posture, dismount the conversation gracefully. It may have nothing at all to do with you or with what you were saying. They may have an appointment, need to go to the bathroom, or just feel tired. By walking away you indicated respect and that person will be quite willing to talk to you again at some other time.

This section included a lot of discussion and demonstration about how to enter a conversation, what to do about those who lurk physically, and solutions to the invasion of personal space. It is okay to lie if someone breaks the social compact. If you’ve indicated both by body motion and by conversational dismount phrases that you’re ready to be done talking, but the other person still is not letting go, then make something up and exit. “I’m sorry. I have an appointment.”

Personal Presentation and Basic Marketing

  • Dress for the job you want. This includes both your actual dress and grooming and your web presence. If you want to be a full-time writer then your personal presentation both online and in person should indicate that you are professional. This does not exclude quirkiness and individuality. Some writers dress in costumes, have pink hair, or wear Hawaiian shirts. Just be aware of the impression you are giving. You do not want to seem clueless or unreliable.
  • Express confidence and remember the wonder. When conversation does turn to a point where you are describing your own work, make sure you talk about it with enthusiasm. This is hard. Very often writers will offer up their work as if it is a dead mouse, or something else embarrassing. “I have a story in Asimov’s, but it isn’t very good. I made a mistake in the math.” Stop and remember how you felt writing the story. Think of the cool central idea. Then create a rehearsed conversational statement about that. “I have a story in Asimov’s! It is about living rainbows.” Sharing your excitement and enthusiasm allows your listeners to feel sympathy and interest. It is hard for someone else to be interested in something which you are treating as embarrassing.
  • Tailor your message to your audience. Agents have different interests than readers. For both you’re hoping to convince them to read your work. The agent wants indications of solid writing and marketability. A reader you’ll wants to know what kind of a reading experience they’ll have. An editor wants to know all the twists and turns. A reader doesn’t want spoilers.
  • Repeat your marketing. People need to see something three times before they remember it. They need to see it seven times before they’ll buy. This is true both when you have a physical object to sell, or just if you want to be remembered by your dream agent. So if you’re at an event and want to leave with an agent or editor remembering you, you’re better served by three brief conversations than a single long one. (From a marketing perspective, it would make much more sense for me to break this giant post into a dozen small ones. It would probably be easier for readers to absorb information and it would keep them coming back to my site. I’ve decided not to do that because I want to clear my mind for other things.)
  • Give out useful information. This goes along with praising the work of others and making sure not to talk about yourself too much. It is also particularly true online. When you give out useful information, people link to you. Mary wrote an excellent post about this exact topic. In fact it was the post from which we drew lots of the topics discussed during the presentation. Linked from that post are all of Mary’s Debut Author lessons, which are also worth a read. (I know that after reading 1800 words of panel notes you totally wanted MORE reading, but there you go. Enough to keep you busy for quite a while.)
  • It is okay to have multiple motivations. When attending a conference and meeting people, or joining a forum online, it is okay if part of your motivation for doing so is to promote your work. This is actually expected. The key is to make sure that it is not your only motivation. You should also expect other people to have multiple motivations for wanting to talk with you.

Socializing online.

  • Know the community. There are dozens of social media sites out there and they all have their hidden rules and social norms. Posting ten times in an hour is expected on twitter, it is annoying in facebook or Google+. Each community has its strengths and weaknesses. Each has a different appeal. Use the ones which feel comfortable to you, skip the ones that don’t. Give popular social media a fair shot before deciding they are not useful to you. Twitter seemed ridiculous at first glance and has turned out to be a social media powerhouse.
  • Share wisely. When you share things with your social media streams be sure to put something of yourself into the things you send. Make sure that your social media stream does not turn into noise for the people reading it. You can not fascinate everyone. People will follow and unfollow, don’t take it personally.

All of the social skills discussed in the first three sections can be applied online. The conversations are just virtual instead of in person. As a fun exercise you can pick a skill and pick a venue on the internet and then think how the two relate to each other.

Running a Promotional Push

We reached this topic with a mere ten minutes left to our two hours. It is a topic large enough to be a class all by itself. Perhaps I’ll write up a blog post devoted specifically to it, but not today. Instead I’ll just reiterate what I told the class:

The most important thing you can know about promoting your work is to alternate periods of push with lulls. Link your push to an event, a sale, an award season. Send out your message 3-7 times in 3-7 ways, then give it a rest. The rest is critical. It means that you do not turn into noise for everyone around you. More important it gives you space to relax, write more things, and rediscover your life balance.

With that, our time was up and Mary had to dash away for a reading. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of this class. The audience was great. As a result of Mary’s knowledge, and audience questions, I learned a lot. Which brings up a last point I want to make to those who feel overwhelmed by everything above.

We’re all still learning. Even people who have been schmoozing for decades are still learning and adapting. You don’t have to get everything right all at once. Just pick one or two things to practice until they become as natural as walking. Then you can work on something else. Bit by bit we are all becoming who we want to be.

LTUE Panel Notes: Little Stories Everywhere / Blogging

By / February 15, 2012 / 8 Comments

There were five of us on this panel:
Shelly Brown of Writing With Shelly and Chad was our lovely moderator
Peggy Eddleman of Will Write for Cookies
Jenni James of Author Jenni James
Jessica Harmon of Writing Legends
and me.

Shelly opened the panel for audience questions right away. This approach made most of the panel a question and answer session. It meant that we were able to focus our discussion on topics of immediate interest to the audience. I’ll admit that I did not do as good a job taking notes during this panel. I’m afraid I was a little afflicted by a “one of these things is not like the others” feeling. In the end that may have strengthened the panel because it is important to have a counterpoint opinion. I have to remind myself that though my approach to blogging is different, this does not make it inherently better or worse. I choose the path that is suited to me. I guess it comes down to a question of genre. Blogging is a form of writing, not a genre. My blog tends to be long and thinky. Jessica’s blog is story and geek focused. Shelly, Jenni, and Peggy all write blogs that are upbeat, short, and extremely social. They interacted with other blogs and with their audience far more than I tend to do. There benefits to each style of blogging. In fact Jenni runs multiple blogs to address different parts of what she does.

The first question was how to find an audience. Shelly, Peggy, and Jenni all spoke of the benefits of doing blog hops. Peggy runs them fairly regularly and says they are a great way to get visitors. They also suggested seeking out blogs similar to the one you write and commenting on those blogs. This may prompt reciprocal visits and comments. I agree that this can be a good way to get started. Reading other blogs helps you figure out what you want to be. Commenting and receiving comments can help you build a writing community for yourself. This is also valuable. However what is really necessary to gain readers is to create links between your blog and other places. I’ve never spent much energy deliberately trying to grow the audience of my blog. This means that the readership grows very slowly. This is fine because I’ve never used readership to measure the value of my blogging.

Another urgency that new bloggers feel is getting comments. This only came up tangentially during the panel. There was some direct discussion about keeping things light, positive, and short. Jenni told how her funny stories about kids will always get piles of comments, but that any time she writes longer or more serious topics there is less response. My thinking on comments has shifted in the last six months. I’ve read lots of advice on how to engage readers and encourage them to comment. There are specific techniques that bloggers can apply which will cause readers to engage and leave a comment. Sometimes I use them. For the most part I find the words to express what I meant and am happy if those words inspire a comment. However I know it is possible for my words to be incredibly valuable without inspiring a blog comment. Just yesterday I read a blog post that moved me to tears. I excerpted a section to put in my journal, yet I did not leave a comment on the blog. Just as the value of a blog is not measured in readership, the value of a post can not be measured in comments.

Jessica supported this by pointing out that for every person who comments there are lots of lurkers who say nothing. But they are still there, reading and enjoying.

However, the picture is vastly different if the primary purpose of a blog is to provide a marketing platform for something else. Jenni’s blog is an excellent example of this. She enjoys blogging because of the interactions with readers. She uses it to draw readers to her books. Then her books draw readers to her blog. Other authors, such as Brandon Sanderson, use their blogs primarily as news feeds to update people about what they’re working on or where they are traveling. One of the ladies, I think it was Peggy, told how she was talking to a marketing director in a publishing house. When an author’s book is under consideration all the people at the meeting will flip open their laptops and google the author. They look for readership, followers, friends, and what they find will affect the purchasing decision for that book. This assertion was backed up for me in a completely different panel when Mary Robinette Kowal underlined the absolute necessity of some sort of web presence, though Mary pointed out that it doesn’t have to be a blog.

One thing that all the women on the panel agreed about is that we all feel boring sometimes. It is a miracle of the human brain that we can get bored with anything. The truth is that everyone is interesting because we are all different. Don’t be afraid to keep a blog because you think you have nothing to say. The practice of blogging can teach you what you have to say. Blogging gave writing back to me after I had lost track of it.

Another thing we were all agreed upon is how much we enjoy blogging. Each of us has her own reasons and rewards.

I wish I’d kept better notes of the questions that were asked and answered. If you were there, feel free to leave a comment to remind me. (Look at me deliberately engaging with an audience. Let’s all talk about blogging together.)

Panel Notes: Feeling Fake (Imposter Syndrome)

By / February 14, 2012 / 5 Comments

Sometimes a panel discussion is tightly focused on topic. All the panelists are energetic and engaged. Sometimes there are even vehement arguments as different points of view are represented. This was a more relaxed panel. It was a panel packed with intelligent and articulate people: Ami Chopine of Geek at Play, Chris Weston who has several books (Alas I do not have a link), Stacy Whitman of Tu Books, and me. We all had really useful things to say, but somehow the stories and conversation kept drifting away from a tight focus on Feeling Fake / Imposter Syndrome. I know I was guilty of this. I’d get halfway through the story and realize I was no longer sure how I meant to bring the story around and relate it to the topic at hand. Yet over the next two days I had many people saying that they found the whole discussion very useful, so we must have managed something right. I suppose in a way this actually relates to the panel topic. All during the panel I felt like I wasn’t doing a very good job as a panelist, but the audience perceived things very differently.

Imposter Syndrome is the feeling that one is unqualified or a fraud. The most important point made in this panel is this: everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. Stacy told us the story of how she started up a small press, ran a kickstarter that funded completely, had her press picked up as an imprint, and has now released the first three books. Yet she still has days when she wonders how she got where she is. She often feels small or unqualified. Chris told us about the moment when he truly took up the label of writer and applied it to himself. That moment was long after he’d already begun writing.

I know that imposter syndrome is rampant in my own life. I constantly feel like I’m throwing up a professional facade while behind stage it is all scrambling and tears. Then I remember what Tracy Hickman once told me. It was on the day when he arrived at our house to hammer out a contract for the XDM project. Tracy wanted us to be the publishers and Howard to illustrate the book. I was going to have to do significant layout and design for a 180 page book with actual text. The only training I had for this task was a copy of InDesign for Dummies. I was terrified. We were also going to have to write a contract for a man who had signed hundreds of publishing contracts in his life. I was sure that he would be able to see right through us. He did. But what he saw was not what I thought was there. Tracy launched into a rambling story filled with laughable anecdotes, the point of it was to tell us that in fact everyone in publishing is making it up as they go. Everyone is scrambling behind the scenes. Everyone feels like they’re unqualified and is afraid they’ll be discovered. Feeling unqualified is normal. You just have to put on the clothes of the job you want and wear them until they’re comfortable.

As the panel discussion progressed, we gleaned some useful information about how to manage imposter syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome is primarily driven by fear of exposure. If you can figure out what you’re afraid to expose and to whom you’re afraid it will be exposed, this gives you power. You can take steps to defuse the fear. On the day of that contract with Tracy, Howard and I told him that we’d never written a contract before and asked for his help in getting it right. Instead of despising us for our ignorance, Tracy graciously provided the help we needed.

Perfectionism is also a driving force behind imposter syndrome. Stacy spoke about trying to get every single detail right in the books she edits. Getting everything right is impossible. When she acknowledges this, she can focus on what she does well. As a supporting point to Stacy’s story, I told the story of my son, Patch, and getting things wrong.

To battle imposter syndrome, you need to check the evidence around you. Stacy may feel like she’s an imposter sometimes, but the books which Tu produces are evidence of actual ability. People can sense fakes. If they’re treating you like you have expertise, it is likely that you actually do. It is easy to devalue knowledge we have while valuing what we don’t. Amy pointed out that a light case of imposter syndrome can actually spur a person onward to the acquisition of more knowledge and expertise.

Chris spoke a warm and eloquent reminder that often the answer is to just get back to writing. Write words because that is what writers do. Worry less about whether they’re good and trust yourself to learn as you go. He cautioned against comparing yourself to others. Comparisons lead to insecurity, jealousy, and raging imposter syndrome. Stacy backed up this thought by saying “remember your goals.” Tu Books is not likely to spawn a best seller, but that is not its focus. Instead it is promoting diversity in literature through creating excellent books. When Stacy is focused on her goals she feels happy and accomplished rather than insecure.

My advice was to spectate the imposter feelings. Where do they come from? What situations trigger them? What drives the fear? Keep digging for motivations and answering questions. Those answers are information that you can use to restructure your thinking and possibly your life. I’m in the middle of this process. I am trying to re-shape my life so that I am naturally facing my goals instead of my failures. I’ll never get it figured out completely because life keeps shifting, but even the effort quiets the voices of imposter syndrome.

The thing is, we are all more competent than we believe ourselves to be. I didn’t use this quotation from Mark Twain in the panel, but I wish I had.

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not posses than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
–Mark Twain.

Whatever it is that you feel a fraud while doing, you are certainly better at it than you feel yourself to be.

Panel Notes: Collaborating With A Family Member

By / February 13, 2012 / 4 Comments

I was already familiar with my co-panelists for this discussion. Michaelbrent Collings is an author with many projects both completed and in the works. Karen and Kevin Evans write together crafting stories for the Grantville Gazette. The panel had no declared moderator, so by mutual assent I was place in charge. This was fine. I enjoy moderating. The panel was tuned to discussing the particular difficulties that attend collaborating with a family member, but most of the information is applicable to any collaborative partnership. I wish you all could have been there. These notes are a mere skeleton of the useful information that was imparted. I don’t remember all the stories or how one thought connected to the next. It was a really good discussion.

We began the panel by compiling a quick list of the benefits and difficulties that attend a collaboration with a family member.

Benefits:
Additional eyes – most creative works involve some level of collaboration. When an editor reviews a work and makes suggestions, that is collaboration. Collaboration is necessary because no one set of eyes can detect everything. Alternate points of view strengthen a creative work.

Spending time with someone you like: Michaelbrent spoke eloquently about how much he enjoys collaborating with his father. Karen and Kevin spoke in the same strain. Creating something together can really strengthen a relationship.

Continuous creative conversation: This is a benefit that I definitely see every day. Howard and I have a dozen conversations a day where we talk about the various projects we have in process. We will never run out of things to talk about because we’ll never run out of projects.

Filling in the weaknesses: Karen is a writer who loves characterization. Kevin is a writer who loves plotting. So when Kevin is working on a story he’ll put in a note “Karen writes character stuff here.” Then Karen fills in those gaps. It works the other way as well with Karen writing “Kevin fixes plot.” Together they are able to finish projects, submit them, and succeed. Separately they were far less successful.

Difficulties:
Differences in timing and writing speeds: Sometimes Michaelbrent is really excited about a project, but his father’s schedule is too full. Other times a project is top priority for one collaborator, but not for the other. It can get really frustrating when one partner has to wait on the other.

Spillage: Project stress and conflict can spill over into the family relationship. Creative projects inevitably create both conflict and stress. The more passionately the creators feel about the project, the more true this becomes. It can take a careful touch to keep the collaborative relationship separated from the familial relationship.

Melding Multiple processes: Howard and I have different approaches to similar tasks. This was evidenced while getting ready for LTUE. My way of packing and planning left Howard feeling like everything was disorganized. The opposite also happens. It takes time, patience, and constant communication for the partners to figure out how to work together. We each have to take turns letting go of control and trusting our collaborative partner.

Criticism and Ego: A necessary part of collaboration is telling each other when part of the project is not working right. It can be quite difficult to do this so that only the project is under discussion and not the person who created. A solid knowledge of each other is necessary to be able to criticize constructively rather than destructively.

Jealousy: This one was not mentioned during the panel, but I think it belongs here. Equal contributors are not always given equal recognition. Even without recognition it is possible for one creator to feel jealous or resentful about the path that the project is taking. Careful attention is necessary to the emotional needs of your collaboration partner.

In the next part of the panel we focused on practical and structural ways to make a collaboration work healthily.

Michaelbrent started out this section by saying that if you’re approached by a family member who wants to collaborate and you have a sinking feeling about the project, don’t do it. You should never collaborate with someone if you feel like they can not help you produce a quality project. You must be excited to work with the person. I countered this idea by suggesting that it is critical to know your goal. If the goal is a high-quality sale-able project, then Michaelbrent is absolutely correct. If the goal is to spend time with grandpa, then a very different standard applies. Then the success of the project is measured by time spent. Someone else, I’m not sure who, gave the additional suggestion that it is critical for both collaborative partners to share the same goal in relationship to the project. If one is trying to write a story for the kids and the other wants to create a slick best-selling middle grade novel, then conflict is inevitable.

Additional practical advice:
Agree upon a method of working: Michaelbrent and his father wrote a book by alternating chapters. Karen and Kevin take turns doing the drafting and revision. Howard and I make up new work processes as the project demands. We actually had some stress over our current board game project because the process had to run differently from our usual book projects. We sorted it out and onward we went. The particular method of collaboration does not matter much, so long as it satisfies both partners and it smooths out the difficulties between them. Don’t be afraid to stop a project and adjust the process if necessary.

Avoid cross communication: I can say the exact same words to three different people and have them taken in very different ways. Even the same person can take my words differently depending on time of day, what other conversations we’ve had recently, or if they’re hungry. In a collaboration, especially with a deadline looming, miscommunication happens. Extra effort is necessary to prevent as much as possible.

Listen to your collaborator as a professional: No matter what other relationship you may have, you need to be able to respect them and their creative input. If you can’t, then this is not a person with whom you should collaborate. To accomplish this it is very helpful to picture the various roles you take on as hats that you wear. Sometimes I function as Howard’s business manager, art director, wife, accountant, or graphic designer. There are times where I will speak to all of those roles in the space of a very short conversation. But because we have the roles defined it is easier to see that when the artist is frustrated with his art director it does not mean that Howard and Sandra are angry with each other as husband and wife.

We could have kept talking for a very long time, but the room was scheduled for another panel. I asked everyone to finish up by giving one quick note of caution and then telling a story about something wonderful which happened as a result of collaboration.

Cautions:
Michaelbrent made the point that it is critical to have creative projects that you are not doing together. There are natural emotional ups and downs attendant to any creative project. Those can be tempered if each partner has other projects in different stages.

Karen reminded us all that relationships always matter more than projects. Never get so involved with creative projects that your life disappears.

Kevin pointed out that most things are not actually life or death situations. Slowing down or missing an opportunity is not the end of the world. Other opportunities will come, and they may even be better for you because they arrive at a time when you can accept them gracefully instead of in a mad scramble.

My caution was to trust wisely. When a collaboration with a family member goes bad, it goes horribly bad. This is particularly true when there is money involved. It is a good idea to sit down at the beginning of a project to outline general responsibilities and benefits. Michaelbrent, who has been a contract lawyer, pointed out that anything written on paper and signed is a contract. He also said that complicated contracts are actually less useful than simple ones because all they do is carefully define loopholes.

The happy stories:
When Karen was a little girl she stood in a bookstore and put her finger between two books on the shelf and knew that when she wrote a book, that is where her book would be. Now she has a book and she credits her collaboration with Kevin for giving that to her.

The best way to get to know someone is to work with them on a project. Michaelbrent is endlessly grateful for the opportunities that he has had to work with both his father and his wife.

I was so busy moderating that I didn’t really have time to think through what my happy thought was until it was my chance to speak. So I started semi-at-random talking about the amazing people I’ve had the chance to meet as a result of Schlock Mercenary. Just as I wrapped up the thought, I glanced down at the table in front of me where several of our books sat and I realized that I’d just said the wrong thing.

So I stopped myself and said “But that isn’t the best part.” I held up the books and said “These are dreams made real. They could not exist without the collaboration that Howard and I share.” The moment I finished the words, I realized I was wrong again. Because the books are nice, wonderful even, but they pale in comparison to something else.

I put the books down and said “But that isn’t the best part either. The best part is standing in my kitchen with Howard and talking, swapping out hats as we talk about things and make plans for the day. It is how we collaborate on business, family, parenting, and everything else.”

That is definitely the best part, even though I’m still not sure that I’ve said it right.

After LTUE is Done

By / February 12, 2012

Today is a jellyfishing day. I drift about, occasionally dealing with a task that I bump up against, but mostly just drifting.

I came home from LTUE last night to discover that my kids were mostly in bed, the house was relatively clean, and while there were dirty dishes aplenty, they bore testimony of the fact that my kids ate food healthier than candy corn. All of that and I never got a crisis phone call. The kids took care of each other and generally managed just fine while I was gone. I am extremely grateful for this. Not only because it made coming home far less stressful, but also because it is evidence that my months and years of effort to teach them are actually bearing fruit. They are quite glad to have me back at home. Today has been huggier than usual.

This afternoon we all went to church. The moment everyone was settled on the bench, calmness settled over me like a comfortable blanket. I looked around the chapel at all my friends and neighbors. I live in a good place, surrounded by good people. All the professional should-haves and what-ifs dropped away. I love attending conferences and events. I love coming home to where I can just settle in and be inconspicuous.

I have panel notes to write up. I also came away with a list of follow-up items. The biggest thing on this list is that I really must pull together a short book of essays pulled from this blog. It doesn’t need to be cohesive or brilliant. All it needs to be is a sampler, something physical that I can point at when people ask what I write. Hopefully tomorrow I can begin focused work on all the convention follow-up items. Then of course there are the preparatory tasks for upcoming conventions. And the graphic design work for the next Schlock book.

For tonight, drifting and sleep