Kiki was watching Star Wars: Attack of the Clones today. 10 is an impressionable age and so I took a quiet moment to talk to her about good relationships and bad relationships using Anakin and Padme as an example. During the course of the conversation I mentioned how Anakin made lots of bad choices which led him down the path to becoming Darth Vader. Kiki’s jaw dropped “You mean Anakin is Darth Vader!?” she gasped. She has yet to see Revenge of the Sith and apparently is unfamiliar with the dramas that unfold in Episodes 4-6 because not only did she not know Anakin was doomed to become Darth Vader, she also didn’t know that Darth Vader was Luke’s father.

Apparently I’ve been appallingly lax in my children’s Star Wars indoctrination.

Sometimes saving money isn’t worth the time and headache.

Three months ago I arranged the Tayler Corporation finances so that it could start running a payroll. The plan was to give Howard a paycheck so that we could take advantage of a tax break that would allow us to have our medical expenses tax free. It did seem to save us some money, but it tripled the amount of time it took for me to create each paycheck. Then the quarterly reports and payments came due. I couldn’t make the amounts in quickbooks match with the amounts on the automatic quarterly reports. After two days of hair tearing stress and frustrating phone calls I determined that I’d done 3 months worth of paychecks wrong and I had no idea how to do them right while still using the tax break. I then pondered tax time ahead and realized that I would have year-end reports to try to figure out as well. Also my accountant hadn’t really heard of this particular tax break and so he would have to learn how to deal with it too.

If there is one thing I hate, it is feeling like my accounts are tangled up. I hate living in fear that the IRS will descend upon me and tell me that I’ve been doing something illegal by accident. I am sure that this particular tax break can be done legally otherwise it would not be offered by NASE, but I have decided that it isn’t worth my time, stress, fear right now to try to figure it out. If the paychecks were larger the savings would probably be greater. Perhaps in another year or two when I can afford to pay a professional to do payroll I’ll try it again.

I re-did the paychecks removing the tax-free medical stuff and realized that I’m very happy to pay the government a little bit more in order to not have to deal with it. I suppose some would say that in doing this I’ve allowed the government to “win”. Maybe so, but right now all my accounts are in neat order. I know where all the money is and all the columns match up. And I can go do SOMETHING ELSE.

In my morning news browsing I came across this article:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/07/22/congress.daylighttime.ap/index.html

Apparently in an effort to save energy there are some lawmakers who are pushing to extend daylight savings time. I have a hard time expressing how much I hate this idea. I already hate dealing with daylight savings time. It is so hard to put kids to bed when the sun is still shining. I just don’t see why daylight savings time was instituted in the first place. What on earth does it gain for us? I have a hard time believing that it saves very much energy. And if it does I’d rather save it a different way. I have a hard time believing that daylight savings is biorythmically good for people.

This quotation from the article was particularly awful:

Could he possibly be more out of touch? Kids don’t want to trick-or-treat in daylight! They want it dark! He’ll just force hundreds of parents to allow their kids to stay up even further past bedtime so that the trick-or-treating can be after dark.

This is one of those issues that could fly through under the radar of most americans, but will significantly affect every individual in the country if it passes. I guess what makes me mad is this guy assuming that everyone is going to be overjoyed that he’s shifting their lives around.

EDIT Aug 8 2005: The measure passed. Grr. Also I’ve been reminded that I am extremely fortunate to live in a safe neighborhood where children can trick or treat after dark. In many many places dark means the end of trick or treat time because the streets simply aren’t safe. I’ll deal with it, but it won’t make me happy.

Bedtime is one of my most stressful times of day. I always start with a plan, but the plan always has to shift and change in response to kid’s actions and needs. Ideally each child has 15-20 minutes of one-on-one attention from me for stories and talking and snuggling. I want it to be a loving, joyful, happy time. I want my last words to each child each night to be “Goodnight honey. I love you!” Instead it is almost always “Go back to bed and Stay There!” I tried tonight. I really did. I was patient. I coaxed. I snuggled. and nothing I did would induce the kids to follow the script. Patches loved his turn, but didn’t want it to be over. All he wanted was for me to stay with him, but in order to get everyone else in bed I had to leave. Gleek didn’t get a turn tonight. By the time Patches let me go she was already asleep. Link’s turn was shared with/interrupted by Patches. Kiki didn’t really get a turn either, but she didn’t care since she has Harry Potter to read.

All of the above is normal. I don’t know why it has me so down tonight. Perhaps it is because I can see so clearly what my kids need and there isn’t enough of me to provide it all.

One really good thing. Kiki has been so much nicer and easier to deal with since her return from her cousin’s house. She had a chance to live in someone else’s family and learn to appreciate her own a little more. I’m sure the effect will wear off in time, but maybe I’ll never again hear “I wish I belonged to a different family!”

I just finished an inventory of things that I have stashed away for this coming Christmas. I’ve got approximately 75% of what I need and so far I’ve spent less than $35. This explains why garage sales haven’t been as fun lately. I’ve gotten lots more picky about what I buy since I’ve already got good stuff stashed away. It gets a little discouraging to go to three different sales and find nothing useful. But that fourth sale with an inexpensive treasure makes up for the other three. I’ve yet to stash anything away for Howard though. Most of the things he would enjoy having aren’t things I’m likely to find at garage sales. (A new computer, frisbee golf discs, itunes gift cards, movie tickets.) The good news is that one of the things that I have stashed away is a gift certificate at amazon.com. As we get nearer to the holdiay, I’ll probably use that.

Howard does not convalesce well. As soon as it is possible for him to move around he wants to be doing something. With this particular injury “doing something” is exactly what isn’t allowed. Howard is valiantly and druggedly trying to follow instructions even though the inactivity is nearly driving him crazy. He keeps wandering out the front door to go visit neighbors because he can’t stand to sit in the house convalescing. Visiting with neighbors is an approved activity because it doesn’t require shoulder or arm movement. And I’d much rather have him visiting than sitting and staring at the walls like a nursing home inmate. I tried to give him first dibs on the new Harry Potter book, but he wasn’t able to focus enough to enjoy reading.

This morning Howard has yet to take any narcotics. He wants to be lucid for his doctor’s appointment in 3 hours. This means he is back to his usual articulate humor. It makes me glad. I miss him when he’s not here. Unfortunately it also means he is in pain. Hopefully we’ll get some more definite information out of the doctor today.

This entry should get filed in the category of Things I’ve Discovered At Least A Dozen Times Before, But Somehow Always Forget. A full night’s sleep makes a world of difference in my effectiveness as a parent the next day. Last night I was up until 1 am. Lately that isn’t too uncommon because I haven’t been getting the kids into bed until 9:30 or 10 and I crave time when all the kids are asleep. I still have to get up by about 8 am though to fix breakfast for kids. This means I’m getting 7 hours or less of sleep per night when I really need 9. This morning Patches awoke at 6:30 which left me with only 5 hours of sleep. I made him some noodles and then plunked him in front of A Bug’s Life while I curled up on the couch next to him and slept. (Harry Potteresque dreams are really wierd when they have dialogue from A Bug’s Life in them.)

I woke groggily around 8 to discover that all the rest of the kids had joined the video party. This meant that the cries of “I’m Hungry!” weren’t too far behind. I began to haul myself out of slumber, but Howard heard me and managed to make clear to my groggy brain that he was already cooking breakfast and I could go on sleeping. I did. I next regained consciousness around 9:30 feeling rested and ready to face the day. I think those extra three hours of sleep were the nicest gift Howard could have given me. I’ve actually had energy today to pull out my sewing stuff and tackle projects that have been on hold for months. I made three pairs of shorts for Gleek, Hemmed a fourth pair, and I began sewing on a dress for myself. It was fun.

As secondary evidence for the importance of sleep, Gleek took a three hour nap today. She fell asleep in my lap around 2:30 and I put her to bed. The peace and quiet was so wonderful that I had no inclination to wake her until she woke by herself. This probably sets back her bedtime somewhat, but I’m okay with that because she has been so much pleasanter this evening. She and Patches have been playing happily together ever since she woke up. I haven’t had to break up a single fight. This is causing me to think about Gleek’s schedule and realize that she has probably been an hour or more short on sleep every day all summer long. She needs 11 hours and she’s typically getting 9. This could explain alot of why she’s seemed out of control. Unfortunately I don’t know that I can enforce a naptime effectively. Gleek goes to sleep best in a room that is dark. That way she can’t see things to distract herself and keep herself awake. Unfortunately it doesn’t get dark until 9:30 pm and it gets light at 6 am. I’ll have to think more to find a solution. Summer’s long days are not my friend in this instance.

I wonder if all of us aren’t a little short on sleep. More things to consider.

Staying up until 1 am is NOT smart when an earlybird toddler lives in the house. It’s 6:30 am and Patches is chipper and wide awake. I’ve GOT to get to bed earlier no matter how much I’m enjoying time with Howard sans kids.

Today has been really strange. Howard began the day loopy and spent most of it sleeping or wandering around in a zombified state. He needed me a lot. Mostly he just needed me to be with him, which was kind of nice. I like being needed by Howard, he’s grateful and considerate, unlike the mostly gratitudeless kids. Oh, occasionally I get hugs, kisses, and ‘love you’s from kids but they’re generally significantly detached from the demands. Howard not only needed me, he also took care of me by placing a call to our local relief society to arrange for dinner. He did it during one of his lucid moments which is probably fortunate considering the amusing wierd things he said during less lucid moments. I’m lucky to have him and I’m sad he’s hurt.

At one point Howard was so sick of being housebound that he wandered out the front door. About 20 minutes later I got a phone call from a neighbor letting me know that Howard had just left her house and was continueing to wander the neighborhood. I had an amusing mental picture of a string of phone calls from neighbors all telling me where my drugged-up husband was. It didn’t happen that way, Howard wandered home all by himself which was good. I really didn’t want him collapsing somewhere or getting confused and lost. (I was pretty sure he’d be fine, but the thought crossed my mind.)

Gleek got bored and picked fights with Patches. I was really tired, but managed to sneak a nap by making the kids watch too many videos. (I couldn’t send them outside in 100 degree heat.) In all it wasn’t really a day that I care to repeat, but I’m not sorry to have had it.